1 in 3200. Those are my kind of odds.

Autumn is a beautiful time here.  Today was one of those days you wish would last FOREVER.  The temperature, perfect.  The color of the leaves, mind blowing.  The wind, just a breeze.

This doesn't last long enough.  I love the winter but it arrives and stays.  Fall reminds me of being a flirtatious teenager.  Getting all dressed up in your pretty outfit.  Flaunt it for as long as your teenage-attention span can handle it.  Then go.  Seriously!  Get out of here as fast as you can because you think somebody might have noticed!

Well, I noticed.  I went outside and parked my body in a chair.  I soaked it in.  Like an 85 year old tortoise, dozing in and out of drifting in the breeze.   It was Heaven.  But then my brain got involved..... you know it does that.

I realized I had just put myself in grave danger.  I was tempting The Fates.  Outside.  Enjoying THAT brilliant blue sky.  Actually sitting.  Looking up at that sky.  Waiting.  Watching.

I am pleased to announce I survived.  I was not hit by a 1 ton bus-sized spacetrash piece of satellite.  I coulda been.  I was out there all exposed (totally clothed but totally exposed.)  I could have been that 1 in 3200.  And knowing how this flirtatious teenager's life works, I'm actually shocked.


I survived the Satellite Drop of 2011.  Nostradomus,  Mayans or Incans or whatever,  Ben Bernanke or Bill Gates or the economy or whatever.  I survived today.

Hooray me!

Getting a Jump Start on October......

As you know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month.  And since I put it off all of last year, I decided that I'd better get my boobs over to the local radiologist and have a mammogram.

This is a first for me.  I've had these boobs a long time now but I've never treated them to this.  I am finding that as I get older, the idea of going in for routine examinations scares the hell out of me.  I don't fear the examination or the test so much, it's more of what they might find.  I guess I'm afraid of getting old mostly.  I'd better get over that quickly or I'm going to need some major counseling!

Unfortunately, I know several women who have suffered from breast cancer.  Some my age, some older.  I decided I owed it to them to go and get this done.  I owe to my children.  I owe it to my husband.  So in bold letters, I wrote on our Family Calendar  "Mammogram."

Q, of course, wanted to know what that was scheduled under 10:30 on Tuesday morning.  Was it something he needed to prepare for?  Was it an assignment that was going to require that he do some reading, because that would suck?!  So he inquired and I explained.

Me: "I'm going to have pictures taken of my boobs."

Q (looking totally disgusted): "What?"

Me:  "It's an x-ray picture that is taken of my breasts to make sure they are healthy.  It's really important for women to have done."

Q:  "Okay, cool."


And it really was as easy as that.  That easy to explain to a 10 year old.  That easy to do.  It didn't hurt.  It didn't even really pinch.  It wasn't embarassing.  And it took 30 minutes of my time.

Why did I put it off last year?  Not sure.  But I am quite proud of myself for taking the time this year.

 If you know someone who has had breast cancer, has breast cancer or just has beautiful breasts, give her a hug and encourage her to take care of those boobies.


P.S. Q just came home from school and said "How was your hammergrab or whatever you call it, Mom?"

It was awesome son, thanks for asking.

If Fifth Grade accepted 41 year olds, I'd fit right it.

I love Fall.  It's a beautiful time of year.  The weather is ideal.  Temperatures are nice, the grass doesn't grow as fast so there is less mowing.  The snow hasn't started to fly yet so there's no shoveling.  The leaves are just changing and haven't begun to drop from the trees so there is no raking.  Perhaps I love Fall because I'm lazy.

I think NOT.

I've been working on getting the family to try new things.  Fall brought the opportunity for us to go apple picking.  My inner-farmer was ALL over this.  We could go and pick apples in the changing Fall sunlight.  Sunlight that makes us all look prettier.  The wind could whisper through the trees while the honeybees buzzed sweet songs of encouragement in our ears.  I could wear a bonnet and an apron and carry a bushel basket I had woven earlier in the summer.  We should TOTALLY go apple picking!

The apple picking was great.  It poured down rain.  There was lightning flashing all around us while we wielded picking sticks high into the trees.  In all honesty, the rain added an extra level of "adventure."    The trees are 130 year old heirloom apple trees.  Not sure what kind of apples they are but we figured we needed 5 bags of them.  5 bags.

So we picked and picked and picked.

We came home with a shitload of apples.


Well, it's been 5 days since we picked apples I decided it was time to do something with them before they all began to rot on my counter.

So I made applesauce.  How clever.

This is 2 bags worth of apples.  First I peeled the apples.

I peeled and peeled and peeled.  Now my inner-homesteader was totally excited about the outcome of my peeling.  My fictious chickens are going to love this special apple peel treat.  I am sure they will all scurry into the coop and lay dozens upon dozens of eggs for me.  As a thank you for my generous offering of heirloom apple peels.  They really do love me so.

Step 3 requires quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  Again, Henney, Penney, Lenney, Jenney, Benney, and Zenney (my fictitious chickens)  will love the results of Step 3.  But oh girls, you won't get all of the cores for some must go into my compost pile.  Not fictitious by the way.

Finally, some sugar.  A little more sugar.  A pinch of salt.  Some water.  How about just a tad more sugar?  And several "glug glugs" of Applejack and we are off.  Apples boiling, breaking down, making the house smell nice.

I DID IT!  I made applesauce.  It looks pretty.  It smells great.  The kids are going to LOVE it.

Well, it turns out Ladycakes is "kind of picky about applesauce.  You know it's not bad but it's not the best applesauce I've ever had."  WTF?  Q and Elvis have decided they are "too full" after 2 pieces of cinnamon toast to even try it.  I thought kids were supposed to be STARVING after school?

Well, there is a happy ending.  A silver lining.  A reason for spending  2 1/2 hours of our day working on a task.  A reward.

Look what I found while I was peeling the apples.

An apple bottom!  I am in love with it.  As you can imagine I sang Flo Rida's" Low".  THE.  ENTIRE. TIME. I made applesauce.  Me, alone in my kitchen, singing about Shawty and her boots with the fur.  God, I love making applesauce.





Add Flo Rida's "Low" to my Lifesoundtrack.  Careful, there are some explicit lyrics here.  So use your best judgement if you are sharing with kiddos.  Just sayin'.

You know it's September when you give your cat a bath.

Let me start by saying, I've been a terrible friend.  The summer took forever to get here and then it just slipped away.  Right in front of my very eyes.  Gone.  I know I had some post ideas along the way but they all got lost in swim meets, laundry and bee stings.

Ladycakes has entered the world of Junior High.  Q is big man on campus and Elvis has left the building (he goes to school everyday, leaving me here all by my lonesome.)  Not entirely.  Mr. Handsome has his headquarters here.  We often meet and gossip around the watercooler.

Today I was, however, alone.  Business was being done elsewhere.  I decided to do my own business.  I bathed the cat.  This is the 16 year old cat that will be that freak of nature cat who lives to be 33.  The cat that caused Mr. Handsome to undergo years of allergy shots.  The cat we kept out of the crib for three different babies.  Just heeding the warnings, "the cat will smother the baby!"  This is the cat that now yowls, yes yowls in the middle of the night because she doesn't know where the hell she is.  The cat that Mr. Handsome clearly said at 3:26 in the morning, "that thing has got to go."

I didn't set up an appointment to euthanize that cat.  Nope.  Instead,  I watched a Youtube video on how to bathe your cat.  The woman was very informative and made it clear what I should and shouldn't do.  It was a pleasant experience.  The cat quite liked being bathed.  I do believe she was purring.  I have not seen her since I bathed her which was about 45 minutes ago.  But, I think it brought us closer.

The kids are back in school.  I am officially a cat groomer.  All in all, a good start to September.




If you would like to learn more about bathing cats, do check this out.