Operation Ass-Kicking Overdrive (which is just a tough way of saying "Responsible Parenting" but what fun is that?)

It's been awhile.  It was nice to take a little break from this here bloggy boo.  When it feels like a chore, it's time to step away for a bit.   But wait.... I shouldn't say that because then this whole post is a huge waste of time!!

I'm feeling inspired today.  I've been editing some things in our lives Here at the Hive.  While editing, I found some things that reminded me of the energy and creativity that has been dorment for awhile.   My summer goal is to wake up that sleepy energy and foggy creativity and revisit my old self.


Today, I finalized the Summer Chore Lists for the children in this household.  For those that asked, I am posting them here.  This is generally a very successful program for us.  So, here goes.  Sorry it's long.

The 8 year old's Chore List

1. Feed the dog everyday.

2. Scoop dog poop. (Mon,Wed,Fri)

3. Pick 2 slips from the Chore Jar everyday.

4. Make sure your room is picked up daily, including the closet.

5. Sort, Fold and Put Away your laundry.

6. Decide on one Family Activity for the week.

7. READ, READ, READ!

8. Sweep the kitchen floor everyday.

The 12 year old's Chore List

1. Mow the lawn weekly.

2. Plan and Prepare one dinner a week with your sister.

3. READ! READ! READ!

4.  Clean your bathroom once a week.

5. Decide on one Family Activity for the week.

6. Dust, Vacuum and Straighten your bedroom weekly.

7. Sort, Fold and Put Away your laundry.

8.  Write a letter to one person of your choice once a week. Mail and wait for a response.

9. Choose 3 rooms to vacuum other than your room once a week.

10.  Work with Mom and Dad on home improvement projects. 

11. Vacuum and Detail Mom's car once a week.

12. Pump gas into Mom's car at each fill-up

The 15 year old's Chore List

1.  Keep your room clean and organized.  Re-organize your closet.

2. Plan and Prepare one dinner a week with your brother.

3. READ! READ! READ!

4. Clean your bathroom weekly.

5. Pick one Family Activity for the week.

6.  Participate in Driver's Education and get Driver's Permit.

7.  Learn basic car care, operation and gas pumping.

8.  Babysit, Pet-sit or any job outside of our house.  Invest in your savings account.

9.  Memorize your Social Security Number.

10.  Sort, Wash, Fold and Put Away your laundry.  

11.  File paperwork for Mom and Dad.

12.  Take an art class.

13.  Assist Mom and Dad with home improvement projects.

14. Pick one room other than your bedroom to dust weekly.

The Family Activities can be anything from going on a hike to roasting marshmallows.  It is my hope that the ideas they come up with will be creative and not cost much or any money.  I put this one in because as parents we feel like we play "Cruise Director" a lot.  We want the kids to take on some of this responsibility.  Oddly enough, Ladycakes announced that the Family Activity chore is the hardest one on her list.

The Chore Jar is something that I learned from my mom.  Years ago, she made a chore jar for herself.  It was her way of doing those odd chores that you don't always think of or aren't part of the regularly scheduled chores.  When my kids were little, I made a chore jar to introduce the idea of chores and to help us with activities for the summer months.  It felt more like a game if you had to reach into a jar!

Chore Jar Examples

Sweep the front porch

Clean out the coupon folder

Wash the dog

Set the table for dinner (make it fancy!)

One thing Mr. Handsome and I are realizing is the shift that is taking place in our parenting.  Of course, as parents our styles and methods change as often and as quickly as our children grow.  However, we have been in a pretty comfortable routine for quite a few years now but we see a need for a change.  Because we are parenting a teen and tween, we are becoming more aware of the life skills they need. The things that come naturally to us as adults (pumping gas) are totally new to them.  You forget this when you are living the daily grind.  So, if some of the things on the list seem strange, stop and think.....Does my kid know how to do that?  You might be surprised.

Happy Summer Peeps.  We won't be "choring it up" all the time. We plan to kick back and have some fun and just enjoy each other's company!

Add "Working 9 to 5" by Dolly Parton to my Life Soundtrack.

All aboard the Breakfast Bandwagon or I'm bringing Breakfast Back! #Sundaymorningbreakfast

A family that cooks together stays together.  I think it's actually if you makes sure you eat together as a family everyone will be happier, healthier and in the know.  In other words, your kids are more likely to talk to you about the stuff that's going on in their lives.

Mr. Handsome and I totally agree with this.  We make it a habit of eating together as a family.  Often that puts our dinner time later than we like but it's a sacrifice we are willing to make.

Mr. Handsome and I also really like to cook and now that we are cooking in a new kitchen, we are enjoying it even more.

I have invited a new tradition into our Sunday mornings.  I make quiche.  And because Mr. Handsome, Q and Elvis are "real" men.... they eat it.  Not just eat it, DEVOUR it.  Ladycakes and I are lucky to get a slice, although Ladycakes makes eating her business.  She isn't one to get walked all over, God I love that girl!

Last night I posted a list of ingredients on my Facebook wall for voting.  Friends helped us with their choice of ingredients and also shared their ideas for #Sundaymorningbreakfast with me.  Then in the morning, we took a picture of our finished dish on Instagram and shared it via Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.   SO FUN!

If you would like to join the fun, put it on your calendar for Saturday night.  Then post your ingredients, get some friends to give their input.  Join me on Instagram @hereatthehive with a picture of your breakfast and if you want to show me on Twitter @hereatthehive I would LOVE it.  Use #Sundaymorningbreakfast to label it and lets see if we can inspire others to jump on the breakfast bandwagon.

It's a great way to get some new food ideas, share the way you are hanging out with your fam and give our social media skills a little workout.

Win, Win, Win.

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G Song, it just might help if you sing along.

There was a time when Mr. Handsome and I were going to become avid campers.  We were going to tackle the challenge of becoming experts in the field of camping or camping in a field.  A pop-up camper or even a larger "hard-walled" camper was an investment we considered.  The Utah, The Matterhorn, The Cascade.... the options are endless.  We had dreams of camping with the kids, finding that perfect campsite next to a bubbling brook.  Campfires, smores, our own "glam"ping menus that we planned out ahead of time.  We could come up with great meals, perhaps author a cookbook of gourmet food that people could make while camping.   Well, it's not happening.  Not happening AT ALL.  We would be terrible campers.  We would like it for about 36 hours and then we would be ready to turn that "investment" right around and head home.

Instead of the great outdoors,  we are camping out in Mr. Handsome's parent's house.  It's kinda like a little vacation.  Funny how just a change of scenery can change your point of view.

The kitchen reno is underway.  Slowly but surely.  Slowly by design.  It's SSSSOOOO expensive and I do not do well handing out money left and right.  Also, because it's pricey, we are being extremely thoughtful with our choices.  It's out of nece$$ity.  Plus, who doesn't love to get the most out of their money?

I promised myself I would document the progress.  So as I promised..... here you go.  I sold our old cabinets on our local classified website.  The new owners of our old cabinets came and removed them.  And did it quite expertly..... thank goodness.  The granite came out in whole pieces.  Hallelulijah.  We will either attempt to use the pieces in bathrooms or will put them up for sale as well.

BEFORE:

CURRENT:

BEFORE:

CURRENT:

BEFORE:

CURRENT:

Next step?  Well, the new cabinetry is scheduled to be delivered.  The island (see it up there, in the corner of that picture, right there?)  needs to be removed and the refrigerator needs to find it's new home in the garage.  We have some tile to pick out for our backsplash and some appliances to order.  That heinous(!) wallpaper that was expertly painted over with textured paint,  needs to be removed.

After typing that last sentence, might I add......

1. Be careful where you choose to put wallpaper people.
2.  If you don't like existing wallpaper, take time to remove it properly.
3.  Seriously, textured paint?  Sorry Ralph Lauren, it was a bad idea.  BAD RALPH! VERY,VERY BAD!

In the meantime, we have a comfortable place to stay that doesn't involve pooping in the woods or washing our clothes in a bubbling brook.  We made microwave s'mores last night and I have to admit they were pretty good.  All in all, this investment is a much better choice for this crowd.

Just to prove that we aren't complete home bodies..... here are the kids enjoying some time in the great wide open.  We love nature.  It's just nice to come home to a snuggly bed.

Add "The Campfire Song" to my Life Soundtrack.

The one where I use my noggin and don't go to Hell.

I have a list of to-dos that could wrap around my house about 30 times.  I cross one thing off and then add 5 things.  I know I'm not alone.  All of you out there deal with the same stuff.  I actually have become more lenient on myself.  A few years ago, if I didn't get a birthday present out in time, I was probably going to Hell.  Seriously, in my mind there was judging..... lots and lots of judging.

Well, that's where today's story begins, a birthday present.  And you thought it was where I was going to Hell, silly you.

My darling nephew is turning one year older TOMORROW.  Look what's sitting on my ironing board.  Yep, it's his present.  And guess what, I have to ship it.  Yep, it's gonna be late.  But, that isn't even the real story.  Look at that cool Skylander (as seen here) and then a stack of candy which any good Aunt would send, then look at that snazzy boyish, yet hip gift bag.  No licensed characters.  Just a great combo of turquoise and red.  Complimentary colors.  Yum.

Well one cannot have a gift bag full of Great Gift, if there isn't tissue paper to fluff it, stuff it and make you work for said gift.  It breaks gift wrapping rules in some universe.  My universe.

Solution?  Indeed.

I came home with the infamous Target plastic bags.  Apologies to my friends out there who remember to take their reusable bags into the store.  I am not one of you, I forget.  EVERY TIME.  I love that bullseye design.  It's just nice and graphic and WAIT! the colors are perfect for what I am doing.

Armed with my scissors, I cut up those bags and created my own pieces of "tissue paper."

NICE!  The remaining parts of the bag will go into the shipping box as packing material or will be recycled tomorrow curbside.

The package is stuffed, fluffed and ready for delivery.  The gift tag is obviously a paint swatch/color sample.  Turns out it works beautifully.

I cannot wait for his gift to arrive at his doorstep.  He won't care that there is "tissue" paper but I do.  Happy Birthday, Roman.  Don't eat all that candy in one sitting and welcome to the addiction that is Skylanders.  It's my way of torturing your Dad.

Robert's Rules of Order, What's new and What's missing, It's all about Dog mama or perhaps dogma..

I personally would like to call this blog post to order.  The following are in attendance........ well, me.  That's something.   I have been attending a lot of meetings lately that require the use of Robert's Rules.  I'm a sorority girl ya' know.  I learned the "rules" when I was in college.  They make me feel comfortable, orderly, in charge.  I love being in charge.

The meetings have been mostly school district stuff.  At first, it scared me.  I felt intimidated.  Education is more than showing up and pulling out your crayons.  Of course, I know this.  However, the "business" side of education, public education, is most interesting.  So needless to say, I've heard some "moving" "seconding" and "holy shit man, you need to stop talking, let's put that on next month's agenda."  AMEN!
However, I have a whole new place to experience Robert.  I plan to hang with a friend of mine at some Utah Swimming Board meetings.  Just so I can feel like I'm in charge.  I plan to come up with some dooozzziiieees when Public Comment is encouraged.  Or at least stand up when that seems to be missing from the agenda.


What's new?  Seriously?  How have you all been?  I'm sorry I've been absent.  I get thinking about writing then I have to do laundry.  I find a picture I want to base a post on then I end up at the grocery store.  So here's the newest, new at our house.....

This is our "old" kitchen.  It is still intact.  While it appears really nice, it just doesn't function.

With the guidance of our builder,  we put our cabinets on our local classified website.  They sold.  Seriously?  They sold.  And, the buyer can wait.  So I am currently caring for these cabinets better than I cared for any of my newborn children.  Wiping them down the minute they have a mess on their face. Someone bumps into them, I hip-check them into the next room.  Damn it, we don't own these anymore, have some respect!

So my thought is, as I bring this blog to order in these next few weeks, I will be showing pictures of our kitchen re-do.  Lots of dust and plastic and maybe some carrerra marble or Kashmir white granite, cabinets and me holding my knees, rocking in the corner.

What's missing?  Besides my lack of inspiration for blog posts?  Well, something big.  She was big and beautiful and part of our family for 11 years.  She was ready.  We weren't but it wasn't about us.  Emma was the most wonderful English Mastiff friend a family could ask to love.  Love her, we did.

Foster mama, a nanny of sorts.

Here's our fabulous, crazy and totally loved Lola.  She believed Emma was her Mama.  Emma was her mama and gave her the best instruction and guidance any dog mama could give.  Another reason we are thankful for our Emma.


Hugs.

Chicken and Chimichurri, Delicioso! And a Cool Trick for using Knorr Cilantro Cubes

The New Year has arrived and with it my realization that I totally buy into the idea of a "fresh start."  I honestly believe that every January I can make major life changes from weight loss to financial re-birth to finding my true life calling.  I am an intelligent adult  however I continue to think there is some magic button that gets pushed on January 1 and all of my will power is restored.  I'm an idiot.

So to show you all how awesome I am at making resolutions and then totally breaking them by February, today I am posting an adapted recipe I fixed for the children and myself.  Mr. Handsome is traveling so I am forced to cook.  Actually, I love to cook but of the two of us, he is more creative, confident and skilled in the kitchen.

Breaded Chicken Breasts with Fresh Herb Chimichurri

and

Cilantro infused Jasmine Rice

Chimicurri

1 lime

3 cups loosely packed fresh cilantro

1 1/2 cups loosely packed fresh basil leaves

2 green onions(white and green parts) cut in thirds

3 T. water

1 garlic clove, peeled

1/2 t. fresh ginger (try it out of the tube, so much easier!)

1 t. crushed red pepper flakes (we like it spicy, use less if you don't)

1/4 t. salt

For the chimicurri, into a food processor, juice the lime and add cilantro, basil, green onions, water, garlic and ginger.  Cover and pulse until the ingredients are coarsely pureed.  Remove puree from processor bowl and place in smaller bowl.  Add red pepper flakes and salt to taste.  Set chimichurri aside.

Chicken and Rice

18 low-sodium Club Crackers, crushed (Use whole-grain crackers to sneak that into your diet)

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 t. light mayo

1 t. Dijon mustard

1/4 t. each salt and coarsely ground black pepper

1 T. canola oil

1 1/2 cups cooked jasmine rice (My trick here is use a rice cooker, substitute low sodium chicken broth for the water and add a Knorr cilantro mini cube seasoning, clever right?)

For the chicken, place cracker crumbs on a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees until golden brown (watch carefully or these bad boys will burn before you know it.)  then remove from the oven.  Using a kitchen mallet, flatten the chicken to 1/2 inch thickness. Season chicken with salt and pepper.  Mix mayo and mustard together in a small bowl, then with a basting brush cover chicken with mayo/mustard mixture.  Dredge chicken in cracker crumbs and press firmly to coat.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat about 1-3 minutes.  Cook chicken 5 minutes per side (this is so subjective because everyone's stovetop is slightly different, just make sure the juice run clear when cut and it's not pink in the middle.)  

Add 3 T. chimicurri to your cooked rice and mix well.  

To serve, I cut the chicken and placed it on top of an artistic shmear of dijon, then added chimicurri to the top of the chicken.  The rice was served on the side.

Okay, there you have it.  An excellent meal choice for my New Year, New Me, New You, Who Knew Celebration!   That's not really what I'm calling it but it's fun to think I could have a whole ad campaign going with a celebrity endorsement etc......

My children LOVED it.  I loved it.  We have chicken left over that I am having for lunch over a bed of arugula.  

I hope you make this, I hope you love it and I hope you let me know what you think.

Here's to an exciting January and then once February roles around we can all get back to normal.

disclosure:  This recipe is my adaptation from the Make it Fresh Make it Healthy cookbook from The Pampered Chef company.  I have made some changes to better suit my family's needs and the way we prepare food.  I do not claim to have invented this recipe or even dreamed up this recipe.  There.  Got that out of the way.

Mature and intelligent Capricorn, represented in the zodiac by the goat, boasts a great sense of mental stability and many admirable qualities. (HA!) Capricorns, those admirable people born between December 22nd and January 19th, are practical, patient, forward thinking, confident individuals who carry with them a deep sense of purpose. (Seriously?) This ambitious earth sign is in store for quite a few surprises in 2012 along with one well deserved success after another. (Please say Yes!)

42.  It's arrived.  Not in full force, but it's here.  So, I do what I do.  You read.  Welcome to my 42nd year.

1.  I probably spend too much time on my computer. But somehow it seems appropriate.

2.  I have incredible boat etiquette.  Which is weird because we are not really boat people.

3."Hey, Mom."  is a phrase, introduction, beginning to a conversation, that I hear more than you can imagine.

4. Like Jason Derulo, if I were a popstar, I would be tempted to start every song I perform by yelling my name, "Jennifer Tyler!"

5.  Dinner is always a challenge.

6.  I strive to have handwriting like an architect.  In fact, I love creating my own fonts.  With pen and paper.

7.  I had dreams of being a lavender farmer.

8.  I get great pleasure from re-organizing a drawer.  Any drawer.  It gives me a sense of control.

9.   My favorite aisle in the grocery store is the cleaning product aisle.  There is always a new scent or product being introduced.  I'm a sucker for countertop spray.

10.  My children will all be taller than me and that makes me so happy.

11.  I fall asleep quite easily.

12.  I would love to have a small cottage decorated in a "shabby chic"  kind of way.  Like a playhouse but to scale for an adult.

13.  Moss is really beautiful.  I love the color and the way it feels.

14.  Speaking of moss, if I were a Smurf, which I would love to be, I would build my mushroom house on a moss patch.

15.  I DO NOT watch scary movies.  I just can't.

16.  Twitter has become my new challenge.  I am learning to use it slowly everyday.

17.  An emerald cut diamond is in my future.

18.  I love to watch my children swim.  They are amazing in the water.

19.  I should take some classes.  Photography.  Pottery.  Cooking. Accounting.  I need to continue learning.

20.  Planning parties is quite fun for me.  I tend to go overboard.

21.  See's Bordeaux candies make me smile.

22.  I like to be creative but at times I am embarassed by my creativity.  

23.  I never intend to make people feel inadequate.  That is one of the most hurtful things you could do.

24.  The numbers in my house address add up to 24.  I like that.

25.  I've often gone over in my head, "if my house was burning how would I get everything important to me out."  It's an awful thing to think about.

26.  At some point in my life, I would like to have a circus themed birthday party.  According to #26, I probably shouldn't plan it or elephants might be involved.

27.  My husband has become more handsome over the years.  He was a hottie when we got married.

28.  Sadly, I find some reality tv entertaining.  Hoarders.  Gross but totally entertaining.

29.  I love to dance.  Karaoke scares me. But I love to dance.

30.   I have no time for politics.  It pisses me off.  It's frustrating.  I think our government is a bunch of rich people who only give a shit about their own agenda.  Now you say, "NO DUH."

31.  I worry I will never be as successful as my parents.  Will my children feel the same?

32.  I only had 2 children when I was 32.

33.  I am proud of Here at the Hive.  I believe it's a nice representation of me.

34.  We feel lucky to have our parents around.  To have parents that are still living is a gift.  Mr. Handsome and I recognize this.

35.  I have met an amazing bunch of people.  In a weird turn of events I was invited to be part of the Snowmamas.  And in that, my life has changed.  in a great way! 

36.   I ordered a peppermint frappuchino the other day.  I drank half of it and then realized the calorie count.  The half I drank was delicious.

37.  When I was 13, I hated the idea of having boobs.  At 42, I love the idea of having boobs.  I will help my daughter feel the same way.

38.  Wind scares the shit out of me.  I. hate. wind.

39.  The ability to write a thank you note, actually write, with your own handwriting, is a dying art.  I insist that my children have that ability.

40.  It's the new 30?  Really?  That seems weird.  Why can't it just be 40.

41.  I feel more grown up this year.  I am easing into the new 30's.  I think by the time I'm the"new 39"  I'll have my 40's figured out.

42.  Being a little more selfish, it's what I'm considering as my gift to me.  I'll work on it.  But loving everyone around me, it's a priority.

Thanks for sharing today with me.  It make my day just what it should be, the very happy part of being alive.  Happy, Happy.

Getting a Jump Start on October......

As you know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month.  And since I put it off all of last year, I decided that I'd better get my boobs over to the local radiologist and have a mammogram.

This is a first for me.  I've had these boobs a long time now but I've never treated them to this.  I am finding that as I get older, the idea of going in for routine examinations scares the hell out of me.  I don't fear the examination or the test so much, it's more of what they might find.  I guess I'm afraid of getting old mostly.  I'd better get over that quickly or I'm going to need some major counseling!

Unfortunately, I know several women who have suffered from breast cancer.  Some my age, some older.  I decided I owed it to them to go and get this done.  I owe to my children.  I owe it to my husband.  So in bold letters, I wrote on our Family Calendar  "Mammogram."

Q, of course, wanted to know what that was scheduled under 10:30 on Tuesday morning.  Was it something he needed to prepare for?  Was it an assignment that was going to require that he do some reading, because that would suck?!  So he inquired and I explained.

Me: "I'm going to have pictures taken of my boobs."

Q (looking totally disgusted): "What?"

Me:  "It's an x-ray picture that is taken of my breasts to make sure they are healthy.  It's really important for women to have done."

Q:  "Okay, cool."


And it really was as easy as that.  That easy to explain to a 10 year old.  That easy to do.  It didn't hurt.  It didn't even really pinch.  It wasn't embarassing.  And it took 30 minutes of my time.

Why did I put it off last year?  Not sure.  But I am quite proud of myself for taking the time this year.

 If you know someone who has had breast cancer, has breast cancer or just has beautiful breasts, give her a hug and encourage her to take care of those boobies.


P.S. Q just came home from school and said "How was your hammergrab or whatever you call it, Mom?"

It was awesome son, thanks for asking.

You know it's September when you give your cat a bath.

Let me start by saying, I've been a terrible friend.  The summer took forever to get here and then it just slipped away.  Right in front of my very eyes.  Gone.  I know I had some post ideas along the way but they all got lost in swim meets, laundry and bee stings.

Ladycakes has entered the world of Junior High.  Q is big man on campus and Elvis has left the building (he goes to school everyday, leaving me here all by my lonesome.)  Not entirely.  Mr. Handsome has his headquarters here.  We often meet and gossip around the watercooler.

Today I was, however, alone.  Business was being done elsewhere.  I decided to do my own business.  I bathed the cat.  This is the 16 year old cat that will be that freak of nature cat who lives to be 33.  The cat that caused Mr. Handsome to undergo years of allergy shots.  The cat we kept out of the crib for three different babies.  Just heeding the warnings, "the cat will smother the baby!"  This is the cat that now yowls, yes yowls in the middle of the night because she doesn't know where the hell she is.  The cat that Mr. Handsome clearly said at 3:26 in the morning, "that thing has got to go."

I didn't set up an appointment to euthanize that cat.  Nope.  Instead,  I watched a Youtube video on how to bathe your cat.  The woman was very informative and made it clear what I should and shouldn't do.  It was a pleasant experience.  The cat quite liked being bathed.  I do believe she was purring.  I have not seen her since I bathed her which was about 45 minutes ago.  But, I think it brought us closer.

The kids are back in school.  I am officially a cat groomer.  All in all, a good start to September.




If you would like to learn more about bathing cats, do check this out.

Just call me "Mrs. Mayor" or "Your Royal Mayorness." I'm cool.

Saturday,  after a big garage sale (I swear it's the last garage sale I host!)  as a family we sat down to watch a movie.  Tangled.  It's cute and easy.

3/4 of the way through comments began:

Elvis: "Dad, some day you will be King."

Q (from a lounging position): "King of What?"

Mr. Handsome: "There's a song that might help us with that."

Me: "Wait, let me check Youtube,  I think it's something like King of Anything."




Ladycakes: "Yes, I love that song!"

Mr. Handsome: "No, that's not what I was thinking.  It mentioned being the mayor....."

Me: "Is this it?"

Mr. Handsome: "Yes! Best song EVER!"




Me: "oh yeah, that makes WAY more sense.  You totally are gonna be King."





Add "Mayor of Simpleton" by XTC to my Life Soundtrack.

Regarding the Rapture

While driving home from a swim meet, the following dialogue occurred.

Q:  "Mom, what time is it?"

Me:  "It's 4:52."

Q:  "So, an hour and 8 minutes until the end of the world?"

Me: "Well, it's 6:00 somewhere."

Q: "Then, we're good??"

Me: "Yep, hon.  I think we're good."

Q:  "Okay, good."

We survived another day or Heaven looks exactly the same as our everyday life.  Wait... is this Hell?  (kidding.)

Gene Autry was known to wear Easter bonnets.

Okay not Gene Autry.  But you get where I am going with this.  We have decided to boycott the Bunny since 13 year old is still dragging out Santa and my pocketbook refuses to buy anymore crap.  Seriously, my wallet bitch-slapped me at Wal-Mart and told me "NO MORE CRAP!"  It was thrilling.

Wishing you and yours a Happy Easter.  My frig smells like hard boiled eggs and Ladies and Gentleman, that's not a good thing.  Farts and green grass to you.  Right now, it's snowing!  Ugh, oy, and you gotta be f__ing kiddin' me!

Our "staycation" has turned into a "suckation."

It's Spring Break here in Park City.  Most of our friends have headed to warmer, more tropical locales.  We are stuck here.  As part of my Snowmama gig, I am given a 5 day stay at the Park City Mountain Resort.  So for Spring Break, we decided on a "staycation."  The resort has extended it's season by a week so we are skiing for our break.  Well, only 4 of are skiing.

We arrived on Monday afternoon, very excited.  We are staying at the Silver Star condos.  They are luxurious.  There is a ski lift right out the door, pool, hot tub, gorgeous kitchen and condo accomodations.  Well, it turns out the lift out the door is not running anymore and the pool is closed too.  Uh, not a great way to start.


The boys were totally excited about the bunkbeds in their room.  Ladycakes has her own king size bed and private bathroom.  Awesome.  The kitchen has high end appliances that Mr. Handsome couldn't wait to get cooking on.  I must admit, I felt quite proud I could provide this mini-getaway for my family.

We had a lovely dinner on Monday evening and the kids hot tubbed and watched a movie.  Mr. Handsome and I hung out by the fireplace watching t.v.  Bedtime came along and I went in to tuck pj'd and teethbrushed boys.  I climbed up the bunkbed ladder to tuck Elvis in and in a matter of seconds the ladder was no longer under my feet.  I could feel myself falling backwards and grabbing for the rail but not making a connection.

Suddenly I felt myself crashing into the other bunk bed's ladder with my back and then bouncing from there to edge of the lower bunk.  All the while yelling, "HELP!"  I landed on my side on the floor with a horrible sharp pain in my lower back.  I couldn't move.   Mr. Handsome came running.  The boys, both shocked, were staring down at me from the top bunks.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  It felt like I had broken my pelvis.

I spent yesterday at the ER being X-rayed and questioned.  No breaks, just really bad bruising, some muscle damage and some pain meds and muscle relaxers in hand.  Great friends came to our rescue to watch children while Mr. Handsome and I racked up charges at the hospital.  Then they came for dinner and provide the entertainment that we needed.  Even though I'm not very fun when I can't really move, they hung out.  We love our friends.

I can't ski.  I'm pissed.  My staycation sucks.  I'm sad.  I sent the family out today, to ski.  I am sitting in my luxury condo questioning it all.

Ugh.

PUMP. Please Understand My Pituation.

I mentioned that I wanted to discuss "stuff."  The accumulation of goods,  from clothing to toys to lamps to craft supplies.  Just stuff.  Here at the hive, we have a lot of stuff.  It seems to grow.  Stuffed animals are procreating in closets.  The sock draw is a hot bed of sock love.  A virtual swingers club for socks where I am noticing most couples end up single.

When I had the realization that a lot of my stuff is bringing me down, we had a sign.  A sign from the heavens.  Actually a sign from our gutters.  As Mr. Handsome headed down into our crawlspace to store just a little more "stuff,"  he stepped into 3 inches of water.  3 inches of water that is sitting atop plastic sheeting and then good old fashioned mud.  It's ugly.  It's messy.  It's not life threatening, but it's super annoying.




So this minor inconvenience got me thinking even more about stuff.  As I am pulling up pillows that I have been saving (why?)  frames that I've been saving (why?)  gift boxes I've been saving (why?)  I wonder why is it so hard to let go of stuff and why do we accumulate it?  I know there are reality shows out there that look into this.  I am not a hoarder.  But I am an average American.  There are 3 families (ours included) on our street that have a garage sale EVERY summer.  That is not okay.

I  have decided to work on what I purchase.  I am sick of buying junk.  I am going more high brow.  I want to buy things that I plan on having for a long time.  If I can't afford it now, I will wait until I can.  No longer substituting with something crappy just to fill a void, in other words stop hanging out at TJ Maxx or Walmart.   I think it will make my body feel lighter.  It will make my brain feel clearer.  It will make my house feel happier.  It will make my world feel healthier.



Now, off to use the pump I just bought from Home Depot.  Luckily this purchase is something we will have for a long time, hopefully we will only have to store it in the crawlspace with only a little  other stuff and it will be one of those purchases we never use but are so glad we made it.





Add "Pump up the Jam" by Technotronics to my Life Soundtrack because according to my friend Cal  "That's so you!"  Wow. and I know.

It's not my fault so please don't trip.

I listen to XM Radio for a good portion of my day.  I'm in the car a lot and I tend to listen to the "20 on 20" more than I should.  It's a bit addictive and I end up singing along to songs that aren't really age appropriate.  I went through some old CD's today and I really should be listening to those.  LL Cool J, Luscious Jackson, R.E.M.  Instead I'm karyoke-ing to Miranda Cosgrove, Ready Set Woe, and yes, the occasional Lil' Wayne.

While driving with the family yesterday,  a song came on and I announced that it was my new "theme song."  Everybody shut up and listened to the lyrics.  Then all of a sudden, there was a huge burst of belly laughter from the back seats.  All three offspring were laughing hilariously.

I am so proud of my ability to make my children and myself laugh.  There is nothing funnier than making fun of yourself.  I happen to be really good at it.

Below is my new "Theme Song."  It's catchy.  Just try to not sing it to yourself, or do....... it will make feel silly and happy.  and maybe beautiful.






Add "Pretty Girl Rock" by Keri Hilson to my Life Soundtrack.

Another VD (Valentine's Day) comes and goes. And I feel great.

I remember when Valentine's Day was important to me (college).  I waited for it with great anticipation.  I wondered what I would "get" for Valentine's Day.  I hated Valentine's Day.

It's a weird holiday.  I am a romantic.  But not really.  I think I might be a little to practical for romance.  I kind of feel like you should be romantic all year round.  But that's cliche.  I do not practice what I preach because life takes over.  And since when have parent/teacher conferences been romantic.   The last time I took my car to be repaired, hardly romantic.  Scooping the kitty litter.  not romantic.

I love watching my kids discover love.  Crush like love.  But a little love none the less.  I love watching my kids celebrate their friends.  Loving their friends.

Happy Valentine's Day.  However you celebrate, with whomever you celebrate.  I love love.






Add "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles to my Life Soundtrack.

It's a weird cloud. And, it's gross.

Q decided to be the one to talk in the car today.  Didn't ask me to shut Ernie D down, Q allowed a little background music.  I think it was Pink singing "Raise Your Glass" playing on Radio Disney.  I LOVE PINK and I love that song.  But on Radio Disney.  Hhhhmmmm.  But again, I digress.


So Q had a revelation at school today.  Thank God (wait not thanking for the revelation) my kids go to school.  Clearly they are getting all sorts of shit out of it.  And ladies and gentleman, it is not just the 3R's.  Which again, 3R's (Reading, yes, Writing, uh no,  and Arithmetic, totally no in the "R" arena!)  Again....sorry.

Revelations and not of the religious kind.  Q experienced something we have ALL experienced.  My experience involves an airplane.  Oh yea baby.  Q was on the playground.  Doing what 4th graders do.  Acting like dorks.  Just kidding.  Playing football, picking their noses, acting cool around the cute girls and then crying when they don't get their way.  An adorable bunch.

Q walked through a fart.  It was a first for him.  In his words.....

Q:  "Hey, you know how people fart just randomly."

Me: "Yes, that is kind of how it happens."

Q: " Well, today when I was on the playground, someone must have farted."

Me: " Really?"

Q: "Yes, because I was out there and I walked through something that smelled disgusting.  It was a fart cloud."

Me: "Right on, so you had a good day?"

Let's go ahead and add "Raise your Glass " by Pink to my life soundtrack because....why wouldn't I?

It's like baby, baby, baby whoa...... and then I buyed some stuff.

While driving to pick up the big kids from swimming, Elvis asked me to turn off the radio.  No more Radio Disney, as much as we love Ernie D, enough already.  He had some stuff to talk about.  He's become quite the talker, although not at school according to the information we got at yesterday's parent/teacher conference.  But, I digress.

The Scholastic Book Fair coincides with Parent/Teacher Conferences at our school.  At your school too, I imagine.  The same people that put toys in the grocery store and candy at the check-out, schedule the Scholastic Book Fair during Parent/Teacher conferences.  Yes, we use it as a bribe.  We are no better than the other parents at our school.    Elvis is super in to the Book Fair, first experience with retail shopping while being educated.  It's like Heaven for Elvis, he's a shopper.

A lot of the kids bring "their own money" to shop the Book Fair during recess, yea right "their own money!"  Elvis got to experience two of his classmates acting as consumers.  Both girls, shoppin' away.  Buyin' shit.

So Elvis says to me while we are driving in the car, " Itzel and Jessica buyed stuff at the Book Fair today.  They buyed posters with their own money.  We got to see what they buyed in class."

I say to Elvis, "What did they buy?"

Elvis says, "Well Jessica buyed a poster of a horse.  But Itzel, she buyed a poster of Justin Beaver."

I responded, "Wow, She BOUGHT a poster of Justin BEIBER?"

Elvis quickly replied in a very judgemental tone, " Yea!  Can you believe she buyed Justin Beaver?  I mean really?"

Whoa.  Justin Beaver has a contract with Scholastic.  That kid is rich.  I just wish the poster was actually a beaver with Justin's stupid ass hair.  I would have totally buyed that too.

Guess my date night with Elvis to see Justin Beiber's new movie IN 3D!  is a bust.  He is so not boughting that.

Stuck. Like a Stick in the Mud. Stuck.

I've got nothing.  I have so much.  I should be writing.  Yet I can't.  The ideas swim.. Back and forth, Back and forth.  None are worthy, funny, smart.  It just seems like day to day.

A swift kick in the ass is necessary.  A jolt, a pinch, a punch something to get me off my current track.  It's dull and boring and repetitive and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Nothing changes, everything stays the same.  I could live my life in my sleep.  Don't ask me to tell you about it but it goes like this....

1.  Alarm rings. slippers on, sweatshirt on.
2.  Awaken children.
3.  Trip over dogs waiting on children.
4.  Dogs outside, lights on.  TV set to PBS kids.
5.  Oldest roused.  "What do you want for breakfast?"  waiting, waiting, waiting.
6. Begin preparing lunch, prior to preparing breakfast.  "What do you want for breakfast?"  waiting, waiting, waiting.
7.  Continue preparing lunch. Feed dogs.  Suggest items for breakfast.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.
8.  7:25 a.m.  "Guys, your breakfast is happening, whether you like it or not."  Breakfast is served.
9. 7:30 a.m Word Girl begins.  Love Word Girl.

10.  7:39 a.m "Boys, go get dressed."  I follow to monitor dressing of boys.  Brushing of boy's teeth, shutting off of lights in boy's rooms.  General maintenance.
11.  7:52  "Get your boots on."  "Get your coat on."  "Where's your backpack?"  Repeat at least 3 times.
12.  7:57 "Q you have to hustle.  Keep moving buddy.  You have got to keep moving."  Blood pressure pushing day time high.
13. 8:00 "Gentleman, we are LATE.  Get your bodies into the car!" I then say, " I love you, see you at pick up, do your best."  When Mr. Handsome is in town, he acts as chauffer.  When he's not in town, this list is much longer.
14.  One more to send off and I am exhausted......  I will spare you the details, but she is the teenager so you can only imagine!

Working on inspiration.  Working on creativity.  Working on me.

Fondue? Do you? It's fun to fondue, you should too. please do.

Okay, I know it looks like we live in the 70's.  Busting out the TV trays and  the fondue pot, totally living bi-centenial.  Look out 1976, we are making our move.  Tonight's New Year's Eve celebration involved fondue, broccoli, cauliflower, french bread, pretzel sticks, lil smokies and cheese, cheese, cheese.  It was delicious and fun and I want to thank Hilary for the inspiration!

Dick Clark is on the agenda, really Ryan Seacrest but I feel like I should pay homage to the man who owns New Year's Eve.  We might even play a little Pictionary on Udraw, if we get it set up.  Safe and sound at home.  Looking forward to starting new.

Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year!