Our "staycation" has turned into a "suckation."

It's Spring Break here in Park City.  Most of our friends have headed to warmer, more tropical locales.  We are stuck here.  As part of my Snowmama gig, I am given a 5 day stay at the Park City Mountain Resort.  So for Spring Break, we decided on a "staycation."  The resort has extended it's season by a week so we are skiing for our break.  Well, only 4 of are skiing.

We arrived on Monday afternoon, very excited.  We are staying at the Silver Star condos.  They are luxurious.  There is a ski lift right out the door, pool, hot tub, gorgeous kitchen and condo accomodations.  Well, it turns out the lift out the door is not running anymore and the pool is closed too.  Uh, not a great way to start.


The boys were totally excited about the bunkbeds in their room.  Ladycakes has her own king size bed and private bathroom.  Awesome.  The kitchen has high end appliances that Mr. Handsome couldn't wait to get cooking on.  I must admit, I felt quite proud I could provide this mini-getaway for my family.

We had a lovely dinner on Monday evening and the kids hot tubbed and watched a movie.  Mr. Handsome and I hung out by the fireplace watching t.v.  Bedtime came along and I went in to tuck pj'd and teethbrushed boys.  I climbed up the bunkbed ladder to tuck Elvis in and in a matter of seconds the ladder was no longer under my feet.  I could feel myself falling backwards and grabbing for the rail but not making a connection.

Suddenly I felt myself crashing into the other bunk bed's ladder with my back and then bouncing from there to edge of the lower bunk.  All the while yelling, "HELP!"  I landed on my side on the floor with a horrible sharp pain in my lower back.  I couldn't move.   Mr. Handsome came running.  The boys, both shocked, were staring down at me from the top bunks.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  It felt like I had broken my pelvis.

I spent yesterday at the ER being X-rayed and questioned.  No breaks, just really bad bruising, some muscle damage and some pain meds and muscle relaxers in hand.  Great friends came to our rescue to watch children while Mr. Handsome and I racked up charges at the hospital.  Then they came for dinner and provide the entertainment that we needed.  Even though I'm not very fun when I can't really move, they hung out.  We love our friends.

I can't ski.  I'm pissed.  My staycation sucks.  I'm sad.  I sent the family out today, to ski.  I am sitting in my luxury condo questioning it all.

Ugh.

PUMP. Please Understand My Pituation.

I mentioned that I wanted to discuss "stuff."  The accumulation of goods,  from clothing to toys to lamps to craft supplies.  Just stuff.  Here at the hive, we have a lot of stuff.  It seems to grow.  Stuffed animals are procreating in closets.  The sock draw is a hot bed of sock love.  A virtual swingers club for socks where I am noticing most couples end up single.

When I had the realization that a lot of my stuff is bringing me down, we had a sign.  A sign from the heavens.  Actually a sign from our gutters.  As Mr. Handsome headed down into our crawlspace to store just a little more "stuff,"  he stepped into 3 inches of water.  3 inches of water that is sitting atop plastic sheeting and then good old fashioned mud.  It's ugly.  It's messy.  It's not life threatening, but it's super annoying.




So this minor inconvenience got me thinking even more about stuff.  As I am pulling up pillows that I have been saving (why?)  frames that I've been saving (why?)  gift boxes I've been saving (why?)  I wonder why is it so hard to let go of stuff and why do we accumulate it?  I know there are reality shows out there that look into this.  I am not a hoarder.  But I am an average American.  There are 3 families (ours included) on our street that have a garage sale EVERY summer.  That is not okay.

I  have decided to work on what I purchase.  I am sick of buying junk.  I am going more high brow.  I want to buy things that I plan on having for a long time.  If I can't afford it now, I will wait until I can.  No longer substituting with something crappy just to fill a void, in other words stop hanging out at TJ Maxx or Walmart.   I think it will make my body feel lighter.  It will make my brain feel clearer.  It will make my house feel happier.  It will make my world feel healthier.



Now, off to use the pump I just bought from Home Depot.  Luckily this purchase is something we will have for a long time, hopefully we will only have to store it in the crawlspace with only a little  other stuff and it will be one of those purchases we never use but are so glad we made it.





Add "Pump up the Jam" by Technotronics to my Life Soundtrack because according to my friend Cal  "That's so you!"  Wow. and I know.

Change is what keeps us constantly striving to be more than we were before. Gettin' deep and not by going off the deep-end.

It's Spring here and I know because it's continuing to snow.  I have Spring Fever for sure and at the same time feel very stuck.  I've been feeling this way for awhile now.  And that rut, it just keeps getting deeper or I keep getting shorter and therefore it feels like there is no way out.  I do the same thing EVERY DAY.  Seriously, it really doesn't change.  I love routine but this has become torture.  I've decided to put it out there and maybe it will force me to make a change.

So with change in mind, I'd like to discuss a few things with you.  One topic at a time.  The first change I intend to make is regarding my body.  You guessed it,


I'M GETTING A BOOB JOB!

kidding.

As a person who is considered a cancer survivor, you would think I would have a real interest in my body.  Sheryl Crow wrote a cookbook because, as a cancer survivor, she realized she needed to consider how everything affects your body and your health.  People on a daily basis make lifestyle changes (green cleaning products for example)  for the sake of their health and well being.  I'm not like most people,  I instead have been secretly and subconsciously conducting my own form of warfare on the very body that I should be treating like a temple.

I eat poorly.  Not that I have twinkies for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch and then popcorn and beer for dinner, but I don't give a lot of thought to what it is I am shoving into my mouth.  I rarely consider portions, where my food came from, trying new things or eliminating things that probably aren't making me feel my best.

I do not speak kindly to or about my body.  Of course, a lot of the time I am just looking for a laugh.  But, if you say something enough you start to believe it.  I have a 13 year old daughter.  The LAST thing I should be doing is judging my body and only talking about what I feel is "wrong" with it.  Isn't that basic parenting 101?

I don't treat my body nicely.  I do take it out for a walk in the morning but that's only because the dogs can't walk themselves.  I do get out and enjoy the great outdoors but only if I'm guaranteed a beer afterwards.  I need to find something I like to do that gets my heart rate up and make it a part of my daily life.

Now, I know this can't happen overnight.  And, I know that I am only human and I won't always make the right choices.  But, thinking about it, saying it and then giving it the ol' college try can't hurt.

Another day we will be discussing "stuff."  Yes, "stuff."  The keeping, buying, storing, constant rearranging of and general downer that it brings.

Til then I'm off to eat a bowl of ice-cream and down it with a margarita.   Again, kidding.

Not my proudest moment.

So the littlest and I went out for a snow shoe... and some sledding.   Took the new puppy and snowshoes and a sled and a mom who was questioning her decisions the minute she stepped out the door.  But that's what Moms do...

Took to the path and listened to Elvis bitch about walking to the sledding hill.  "It's too far."  "I'm so tired."  "I can't go anymore"  yadda, yadda yadda.

So we walked with puppy.  It was stressful with all of the puppiness and 5 year oldness.  But we arrived here, ready to sled.  Sled we will.

Elvis hiked this bad boy-self and sent his shit down like no other.  Run #1 AWESOME!  It was fast, furious and crazy epic.  Standing at the top of this hill, I was in awe.  Mr. Handsome was on his way over with Ladycakes, I called on the cell and asked him to bring Elvis' s helmet.  This hill is epic, he needs a helmet.

As Mr. Handsome and Ladycakes approached, Elvis wanted to take run #2.  He was ready.  On his game.  I mentioned before pushing him down the hill, "Bail if you need to.."  *note to self 5 year olds don't know what" bail if you need to" means..I SUCK.

Fencing consists of barbed wire and re-bar posts.  The blood you see, my child's.

He wasn't wearing a helmet.  We couldn't wait the 5 minutes for Dad to arrive.  He slammed into the above fence.  Luckily, he hit the side of his head not his face.  He's fine.  He has 5 staples in his head and will be just fine.

I'm  a wreck.  Mother of the Year, I'm out of the running.  I'm so proud of my brave little man but question my own decisions.  He still trusts me and for that I wonder if perhaps there wasn't a brain injury.

I love him.  I'm sorry.  I'll do better.  I promise.

Should I be flattered, furious or flabbergasted?

I love getting the mail.  Especially during the holidays because I generally get a few Christmas cards here and there.  Aside from the bills, which come all too frequently, I love getting the mail.

Until today.


Today, in my mailbox was the "American Baby Parenting Magazine,"  an offer to subscribe to "More Magazine, the magazine for women in their 50's" and to add insult to injury,  my "Welcome to AARP" packet.


WTF!


Am I in my child-bearing years?  No, that ship sailed about 1 year ago to the date.  Do I look like I'm 50?  Maybe it's the gray hair.  But AARP?  Someone needs to kick the shit out the person handling their demographic studies.

I am considering contacting my OB/GYN and asking him if he doesn't make enough money at the normal OB/GYN business.  You know birthin' babies, the ever popular annual exam and the boob fondling that comes along with that.  Because obviously he's selling his mailing list to make a little extra cash.

Honestly.  I'm not getting the mail tomorrow.

Your ability to concentrate in spite of distractions is impressive. External events will be more easily ignored than internal mental chatter, but you shut out both in favor of finishing something that is very important to you.

41.

yes, 41.  December 22.  I should buy The Beatles on Itunes because I am just that old.

Some things.

1.  I love my children's laughter.
2.  Old fashioned calendar/planners make me very happy.  Pencil it in, you bet I will.
3.  Toe-socks.  Socks that look like mittens but for your feet, don't love them.  A bit weird, to wear and to watch those who are wearing.
4.  I drink a lot of milk, especially in the morning.  I love drinking milk.
5.  I hate the grocery store, unless I am by myself.  By myself, I can manage the grocery store.
6.  Having gumballs in your home is welcoming.
7.  In 5 years, my life will be entirely different and I worry about that.
8.  I would love to have a manicure weekly.
9.  I swear too much.
10.  I love dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, moose, dolphins, you name it.  My mom is to blame and to be thanked.
11.  I have an amazing knowledge of Pop Culture.  I can't decide if I should be embarrassed or proud.  Probably embarrassed  but oddly enough I am proud.  i.e. Nick Lachey will probably not get married over New Year's.  Oh  good Lord.
12.  I can make a gift in a matter of minutes.  I have enough stuff to make a really great gift in 30 minutes.
13.  I have never stayed in a hotel with a 13th floor.
14.  I love a really good grapefruit, especially if it's really cold.
15.  I'm a fan of Eminem.  I appreciate his anger and expression.
16.  Star Trek the Next Generation used to be cool.  It's still okay.  Kind of.
17.  I love the way my Elvis uses prepositions.  Totally wrong but so confidentially.
18.  I want next year to be better than last year.  I hated last year.
19.  Lola and Delilah make great dog names.  I'm sure of it.
20.  Teasing is ugly and doesn't make anyone feel good.
21.  Facebook fascinates me.  I am not sure if it is healthy, but this might not be either.  Social media is intriguing and I pledge to learn more.
22.  You are my favorite number.
23.  I make fun of "The Today Show" on a daily basis.  Seriously, it's ridiculous.
24.  I can be creative with food.
25.  I am lucky my parents are still alive, so many people I know cannot say the same.
26.  I love to shovel snow.  It's hard work but I love it.
27.  Perming your hair is a bad idea, I've done it at least 3 times and the results are never good.
28.  Receiving a compliment is something I am still working on, the reception that is....
29.  I wish I could give my husband everything he wants.  I would love to give him a new kitchen.
30.  Speaking Spanish would be very helpful.  I never really learned to speak Spanish.
31.  I like to roll coins.  Collect the coins, count the coins, roll the coins in papers.  It's really old school but totally soothing to me.
32.  I wish I wore clothes that were "high style, fashioned forward, haute couture"  but clogs, jeans and down vests seem to be my go to style.
33.  I love people.
34. I've lost my sense of organization, or perhaps I've gained a sense of perspective.  The order that used to matter seems less important.  or maybe I've become lazy.
35.  I am a peace keeper.  It's exhausting.
36.  I don't remember being 36.
37.  If a kid needs to throw up, I will offer up hands-cupped.  I will.  I can.  It's just throw up.  It'll wash away and holy cow, kids need that.
38.  I love to ski.  I would never have said that until now.  I have the time, the equipment, the perspective.  And, I'm not a bad skier.
39.  I am looking for my passion.  (Aside from my children and my husband, I am passionate about them but beyond that, I need a boost.)
40.  Having a pap smear annually is incredibly important.  Please do it every year.  If your insurance doesn't cover it (why wouldn't it) do it anyway.  It's embarrassing, it's mildly uncomfortable, it's an inconvenience.  However, if you don't do it, you could be in trouble.  Please.  Do it.
41.  Starting over is possible.  Changing everything can happen.  Taking control.  Yes, it can happen.  I am going to.  I need to.  I am old enough to make great things happen.

Happy Birthday. to me.  New year, new.......

Let Boredom Reign!

Let's see.  It's been how many days since school got out?  Approximately 12.  The weather here is still not super-summer-like.  That means we have been doing quite a bit of indoor play.  I do shove the bees outside but inevitably the wind kicks up and they are "cold" or it starts to rain and they complain that they are "wet."  Wussies!

With boredom beginning to take it's toll on us, let's just say my resistance is low.  I've let my guard down.  I am not the tower of strength and creativity I normal proclaim to be.  This is the conversation and sequence of events that may have snapped me back to reality.

Ladycakes:  "Hey mom, we are kinda of bored."

Me:  "mhmm."

Ladycakes: "You know how your said the boys need their hair cut?"

Me:  "mhmm."

Ladycakes:  "Can I do it?"

Me:  "mhmm."

A few minutes later, coming from Ladycakes's bathroom.   "BZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

As I wander in I find she has opened her own salon and 2 of my 3 children (thank God she isn't into cutting her own hair)  had already become customers.

I didn't know how to react.  This is my own damn fault.  But wait, she didn't do too badly.  

 

Turns out Mr. Handsome was kind of involved.  He started on Q's hair.  The problem with that is Mr. Handsome shakes when he cuts hair.  We have laughed about opening a kid's hair salon, where "Shakes the Clown" could cut their hair.  It would ruin children for life.  Ladycakes took over once she saw Mr. Handsome's handiwork.

Elvis is loving his mohawk.    I am tolerating it.  If anything, every time I look at him it reminds me I need to plan an activity for the day before any more damage is done.

So this morning when this conversation happened,

Q:  "Hey Mom, I'm kinda bored.  Can I take the car for a spin?"

Me:  "mhmmm."

Q:  "Thanks, see ya."

Me: "Wait, what?  Get back her Mister, go scoop some dog poop!  And get me another cup of coffee!"

Ahhh, summer.  I promise we will survive!

Every New Beginning is Another Beginning's End.

So I am going dark for a few days.  Have a few things that have to be taken care of.  Don't miss me too much.  I'll be back.  Perhaps on some pain meds which will either make me totally annoying or even more inspiring.  I might set up a poll on the sidebar just to keep track of that.  We'll see.  Good luck in the days to come.

1.  Create something pretty.  Glue something to something else.
2.  Enjoy your children, even when they are whining about the dinner you just served them.
3.  Scratch your pets, and them put some jerky on your face.  They will love you forever.
4.  Go to McDonald's, their Happy Meal toys are super annoying and worth all of $4.58.
5.  Do something great for the Earth.  I'm thinking just go for a walk and look around.  The Earth is a really pretty place.  Check out the birds.  Someone let me know that Valentine's Day is often when birds pick their mates.  

In fact, I challenge all of you to make all five things mentioned above happen.

Take a child (it doesn't matter if it's your child) to McDonald's and buy them a Happy Meal.  Keep the signature box that Happy Meals come in.  Come home, remove any remaining fries.  Save them for later.  Cut out a door on one side of the Happy Meal box.  Now glue some embellishments onto the box.  Feathers, beads, glitter, birdseed, fabric scraps, paper scraps.  You name it, just glue.  Now take that Happy Meal box and hang it in a tree for all of those horny,Valentine birds.  If they are going to get it on, at least the can have some privacy.  Go back inside and let your pets eat the remaining fries off your face.  You will laugh your ass off.

See you in a few days Ladies and Gentleman.

Add "Closing Time" by SemiSonic to My Life Soundtrack.

Post- 40, Post -Christmas, Pre- New Year Rant

*This picture makes everything I say below go away. I love these boys. I love being their mama. How lucky am I? So f*^%ing lucky!

Life is all new for this 40 year old. I hate 40. I'll get over it. I'll be more positive. It's just going to take awhile. I was going to be that 40 year old who suddenly got it all together. She was physically-fit, financially-fit, emotionally-fit, creatively-fit, wake-up-in-the-morning-rocking-it-fit. I am SO not fit. On so many levels. It's pretty on the outside (okay maybe it's not) but inside, it's ugly. I'll take care of it. I take care of things. 2010. It's gonna be okay. I guarantee it. I'm working on it.

On a lighter note, we got great stuff for Christmas. Seriously great. The people in our life know how to buy gifts. It's something I wish I were better at doing. I make gifts. I'm that annoying friend, sister-in-law, aunt, sister, .....who makes gifts. I should stop. The gifts we got rocked.

Now, how do I get nine, eleven and four year olds to write THANK YOU notes? Threaten them with "Sit your ass down and write thank you notes?" They WILL write thank you notes.

*Mr. Handsome took offense to this, don't take offense, it's just a 40 year old spouting her mouth." Here it comes... super offensive.

It may kill this 40 year old but at least at my funeral, people will say "Her children wrote the nicest thank-you notes!" Did that offend? Hope not but if so, let me know. I can handle it.

This is my post-40, post-Christmas, pre-New-Year rant. I will be better, I promise. Much thanks to my new followers, my readers and my cute family. Thanks for tolerating me. I'm annoying, I know it. But, I've got stuff to talk about damn it.