Change is what keeps us constantly striving to be more than we were before. Gettin' deep and not by going off the deep-end.

It's Spring here and I know because it's continuing to snow.  I have Spring Fever for sure and at the same time feel very stuck.  I've been feeling this way for awhile now.  And that rut, it just keeps getting deeper or I keep getting shorter and therefore it feels like there is no way out.  I do the same thing EVERY DAY.  Seriously, it really doesn't change.  I love routine but this has become torture.  I've decided to put it out there and maybe it will force me to make a change.

So with change in mind, I'd like to discuss a few things with you.  One topic at a time.  The first change I intend to make is regarding my body.  You guessed it,


I'M GETTING A BOOB JOB!

kidding.

As a person who is considered a cancer survivor, you would think I would have a real interest in my body.  Sheryl Crow wrote a cookbook because, as a cancer survivor, she realized she needed to consider how everything affects your body and your health.  People on a daily basis make lifestyle changes (green cleaning products for example)  for the sake of their health and well being.  I'm not like most people,  I instead have been secretly and subconsciously conducting my own form of warfare on the very body that I should be treating like a temple.

I eat poorly.  Not that I have twinkies for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch and then popcorn and beer for dinner, but I don't give a lot of thought to what it is I am shoving into my mouth.  I rarely consider portions, where my food came from, trying new things or eliminating things that probably aren't making me feel my best.

I do not speak kindly to or about my body.  Of course, a lot of the time I am just looking for a laugh.  But, if you say something enough you start to believe it.  I have a 13 year old daughter.  The LAST thing I should be doing is judging my body and only talking about what I feel is "wrong" with it.  Isn't that basic parenting 101?

I don't treat my body nicely.  I do take it out for a walk in the morning but that's only because the dogs can't walk themselves.  I do get out and enjoy the great outdoors but only if I'm guaranteed a beer afterwards.  I need to find something I like to do that gets my heart rate up and make it a part of my daily life.

Now, I know this can't happen overnight.  And, I know that I am only human and I won't always make the right choices.  But, thinking about it, saying it and then giving it the ol' college try can't hurt.

Another day we will be discussing "stuff."  Yes, "stuff."  The keeping, buying, storing, constant rearranging of and general downer that it brings.

Til then I'm off to eat a bowl of ice-cream and down it with a margarita.   Again, kidding.

"I know it's 11:30 at night but I only have one more question" (and it's a doozy) says 10 year old son with more charm than whoever is the "most charming man" according to US weekly.

So we have been encountering questions.  With 3 children, questions come at us a mile a minute but lately I've actually been paying attention.  Not that I don't usually pay attention.  But "Mom, do we have any juice?" or "Mom, where are my underwear?"  are just not real questions anymore.  It's background music.


So a few questions Mr. Handsome and I have fielded in the last few days:

1.  "Mom, when are you going to get paid?"

2.  "How do boats catch on fire? They are on water."

3.  "Hey Mom?  When do you think you might have some money?"

4.  "Don't you think a fast skin swim suit might hurt my crotch?"

5.  " Mom. What's a condom?"

Uh, I don't know?  Might be the answer to ALL of the questions.  However, I do know what a condom is.  Mr. Handsome busted one out to answer this question ( and if you have been following for a year or so, we don't need these so yes, a new question is in the arena.)

6. "Mr. Handsome, why do you have condoms?"

Kidding, I was thrilled he had one and we did show it to Q and then made Ladycakes look at it, actually I threw it at her and she freaked out.  Then, we talked about it.  This is where I am....this is where I am.  Luckily, I kept my maturity in check and didn't make a dirty balloon animal out of the condom.  Mr.  Handsome and I need to talk......... :)

Your ability to concentrate in spite of distractions is impressive. External events will be more easily ignored than internal mental chatter, but you shut out both in favor of finishing something that is very important to you.

41.

yes, 41.  December 22.  I should buy The Beatles on Itunes because I am just that old.

Some things.

1.  I love my children's laughter.
2.  Old fashioned calendar/planners make me very happy.  Pencil it in, you bet I will.
3.  Toe-socks.  Socks that look like mittens but for your feet, don't love them.  A bit weird, to wear and to watch those who are wearing.
4.  I drink a lot of milk, especially in the morning.  I love drinking milk.
5.  I hate the grocery store, unless I am by myself.  By myself, I can manage the grocery store.
6.  Having gumballs in your home is welcoming.
7.  In 5 years, my life will be entirely different and I worry about that.
8.  I would love to have a manicure weekly.
9.  I swear too much.
10.  I love dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, moose, dolphins, you name it.  My mom is to blame and to be thanked.
11.  I have an amazing knowledge of Pop Culture.  I can't decide if I should be embarrassed or proud.  Probably embarrassed  but oddly enough I am proud.  i.e. Nick Lachey will probably not get married over New Year's.  Oh  good Lord.
12.  I can make a gift in a matter of minutes.  I have enough stuff to make a really great gift in 30 minutes.
13.  I have never stayed in a hotel with a 13th floor.
14.  I love a really good grapefruit, especially if it's really cold.
15.  I'm a fan of Eminem.  I appreciate his anger and expression.
16.  Star Trek the Next Generation used to be cool.  It's still okay.  Kind of.
17.  I love the way my Elvis uses prepositions.  Totally wrong but so confidentially.
18.  I want next year to be better than last year.  I hated last year.
19.  Lola and Delilah make great dog names.  I'm sure of it.
20.  Teasing is ugly and doesn't make anyone feel good.
21.  Facebook fascinates me.  I am not sure if it is healthy, but this might not be either.  Social media is intriguing and I pledge to learn more.
22.  You are my favorite number.
23.  I make fun of "The Today Show" on a daily basis.  Seriously, it's ridiculous.
24.  I can be creative with food.
25.  I am lucky my parents are still alive, so many people I know cannot say the same.
26.  I love to shovel snow.  It's hard work but I love it.
27.  Perming your hair is a bad idea, I've done it at least 3 times and the results are never good.
28.  Receiving a compliment is something I am still working on, the reception that is....
29.  I wish I could give my husband everything he wants.  I would love to give him a new kitchen.
30.  Speaking Spanish would be very helpful.  I never really learned to speak Spanish.
31.  I like to roll coins.  Collect the coins, count the coins, roll the coins in papers.  It's really old school but totally soothing to me.
32.  I wish I wore clothes that were "high style, fashioned forward, haute couture"  but clogs, jeans and down vests seem to be my go to style.
33.  I love people.
34. I've lost my sense of organization, or perhaps I've gained a sense of perspective.  The order that used to matter seems less important.  or maybe I've become lazy.
35.  I am a peace keeper.  It's exhausting.
36.  I don't remember being 36.
37.  If a kid needs to throw up, I will offer up hands-cupped.  I will.  I can.  It's just throw up.  It'll wash away and holy cow, kids need that.
38.  I love to ski.  I would never have said that until now.  I have the time, the equipment, the perspective.  And, I'm not a bad skier.
39.  I am looking for my passion.  (Aside from my children and my husband, I am passionate about them but beyond that, I need a boost.)
40.  Having a pap smear annually is incredibly important.  Please do it every year.  If your insurance doesn't cover it (why wouldn't it) do it anyway.  It's embarrassing, it's mildly uncomfortable, it's an inconvenience.  However, if you don't do it, you could be in trouble.  Please.  Do it.
41.  Starting over is possible.  Changing everything can happen.  Taking control.  Yes, it can happen.  I am going to.  I need to.  I am old enough to make great things happen.

Happy Birthday. to me.  New year, new.......