Swanky. Swankiness. Swankiful.

We live in a swanky place.  I cannot, will not, shall not disagree.  Outside Magazine let the whole world know by naming my town as "The Best Town in America."  Thanks a lot A-holes.  Now everybody and their mother is moving here and there are 31students in my kid's 3rd grade class.  Wait... did I say that out loud?    I mean, it's a super great place and everybody should come visit once a year and then go back to their towns and tell their friends to VISIT.

Okay back to it's swankiness.... it's swankiful.  There are a lot of fancy hotels, high-end restaurants, expensive shops and some "rolling stock"  in town.  We also have a Walmart, a McDonald's and a Bed, Bath and Beyond.  So, our town is keeping it real, kind of.  Our neighborhood is modest and I love that. But, our "keeping it real"  is not really real.  Mr. Handsome and I are totally aware of that.  Our bees are living in a fantasy. It's apparent to us that they don't have a clue that the rest of the world looks different then we do.  Most of world doesn't get new stuff even when they need it.  A huge part of the world  doesn't have a full belly every night when they go to bed.  The bees got it good.

It's Homecoming at the High School.  Yep, high schoolers here are getting creative with candles and candy and poems and kittens (yes, kittens) and who knows what else to ask each other to what is sure to be the dance to end all dances.  Aren't all high school dances billed as that?  This year's Homecoming theme is Casino Royale.  Don't you just love it?  Because gambling for teens is so chic, because most 15-18 year olds totally understand Craps, because Sports Betting should be highly encouraged.

We asked Ladycakes what she thought about all of this since she is eligible for an asking. (Btw, just typing that made my stomach cramp up and I'm pretty sure I have hives on the back of my arms now.)  Her attitude is good, she doesn't care.  She's sitting back watching her friends get asked by boys  young men who are dorktastic and friends who are so desperately anxious to be asked that they themselves are becoming dorktastic.  It costs money to go to Homecoming.  It's being held at one of the fancy hotels I mentioned earlier.  Not the school gym, Heavens no.  We are talking 5 stars.  Frommer's, Zagat or whoever takes notice of these kind of things, well they've noticed this venue.

She explained that she could go as an individual for $30 and maybe a group of them could go.  It's $50 for a couple.  I'm thinking they need to get creative with their potential group and save themselves some money by breaking off into couples..... but I'm cheap and five bucks a piece seems like a lot of money.  Think of how much $5 gets you at Walmart or McDonald's or Bed, Bath and Beyond.....

However, this did get me thinking and you know what kind of trouble we can get into when the synapses are firing.  Oh, it can be dangerous.

The old anniversary is just around the corner.  It's a big one.  It NEEDS to be celebrated.  Luxury travel is not in the cards (we are not planners.)  However,  we could find ourselves at a LUXE hotel with gambling (which is generally illegal here in this state of ours, don't tell Outside magazine, they might change their vote.)  And all for FIFTY BUCKS!  Seems like a full on bargain to me.  I could get a new dress and Mr. Handsome could rent a tux.

Now if I could only get him to ask me to our anniversary dance with candles and candy and kittens and poems and a big old bottle of rum.  ahhh, rum.

Putting Lipstick on a Pig

It's a funny thing, remodeling a kitchen.

It requires a lot of patience.

It requires a good sum of money.

It requires a lot of decision making and then flexibility in those decisions.

And then once complete, it requires you to wear blinders when looking at the rest of your home.


Mr. Handsome and I discussed this when we first threw around the idea of remodeling the kitchen.

           *He said, "You know it will make the rest of the house look like shit."

           * I said, "Maybe, it will inspire us to work on some other plans for the rest of the house."

           * He said, "Really?  You know you are going to want to change everything."




Hrrrrumph.


I totally want to change everything.   However, we are flat broke.  There is no more cabbage.  The wallet chirps like crickets upon opening.  It's goose eggs in the ol' bank account.  Nada, no more.  Gonzo.


So I have to make cheapo changes.   Like, re-arrange vs. re-do.  clean-up vs. demolition.  vacuum vs. replace.  spray paint vs. re-frame.  All oldies but goodies and most can be done for Zero Dollar$.


Let's start here shall we?  This is Elvis's closet.  Elvis is a hoarder.  Elvis will perhaps be on a TV show one day about kids who never really learned the fine art of "playing."  Just the fine art of dumping every bin of toys they own into a giant pile.  You could not even open the door.  Frightening.

So in an effort to keep me from calling in the contractor to build an elaborate set of shelving and then bringing in the professional organizer to set up a system that works for the average hoarder, I dove in with a trash bag.

Truth be told, it's a rare day that I "call in"  the experts.  I have a very high regard for my skills and blindly believe I can pretty much take on any task.  Seriously, maybe it's too much HGTV, maybe my self-esteem is better than I lead on but I'm willing to tackle a task before consulting an expert.

Open heart surgery, anyone?


With garbage bags full and vacuum plugged in, I am proud to say, this is how it looks now.

And then I went and did this.

Tomorrow I shall paint.  Because I have it in the garage.  So essentially it's free.  And it will be fresh and new and I will be happy.  

On a side note,  the kitchen is nearing completion but not complete.  Once it's done, I promise to provide a final reveal.