Putting Lipstick on a Pig

It's a funny thing, remodeling a kitchen.

It requires a lot of patience.

It requires a good sum of money.

It requires a lot of decision making and then flexibility in those decisions.

And then once complete, it requires you to wear blinders when looking at the rest of your home.


Mr. Handsome and I discussed this when we first threw around the idea of remodeling the kitchen.

           *He said, "You know it will make the rest of the house look like shit."

           * I said, "Maybe, it will inspire us to work on some other plans for the rest of the house."

           * He said, "Really?  You know you are going to want to change everything."




Hrrrrumph.


I totally want to change everything.   However, we are flat broke.  There is no more cabbage.  The wallet chirps like crickets upon opening.  It's goose eggs in the ol' bank account.  Nada, no more.  Gonzo.


So I have to make cheapo changes.   Like, re-arrange vs. re-do.  clean-up vs. demolition.  vacuum vs. replace.  spray paint vs. re-frame.  All oldies but goodies and most can be done for Zero Dollar$.


Let's start here shall we?  This is Elvis's closet.  Elvis is a hoarder.  Elvis will perhaps be on a TV show one day about kids who never really learned the fine art of "playing."  Just the fine art of dumping every bin of toys they own into a giant pile.  You could not even open the door.  Frightening.

So in an effort to keep me from calling in the contractor to build an elaborate set of shelving and then bringing in the professional organizer to set up a system that works for the average hoarder, I dove in with a trash bag.

Truth be told, it's a rare day that I "call in"  the experts.  I have a very high regard for my skills and blindly believe I can pretty much take on any task.  Seriously, maybe it's too much HGTV, maybe my self-esteem is better than I lead on but I'm willing to tackle a task before consulting an expert.

Open heart surgery, anyone?


With garbage bags full and vacuum plugged in, I am proud to say, this is how it looks now.

And then I went and did this.

Tomorrow I shall paint.  Because I have it in the garage.  So essentially it's free.  And it will be fresh and new and I will be happy.  

On a side note,  the kitchen is nearing completion but not complete.  Once it's done, I promise to provide a final reveal.   

Remodel Step One. The hardest part of any journey is taking the first step.

Step One.  Or "the first financial decision" we must make.

Here's what we are looking out of currently.  French doors one side opens, the other is a fixed panel.  It opens directly into our kitchen table.  That's annoying.  To make it even MORE annoying, the wood blinds clank incessentantly.  No one can break into our house because of those damn blinds.  WAIT..... Call off the reno!

The window, oh the window.  It's seal has blown.  My running joke is that we have a pet pterydactol.  It seriously looks like a pre-historic bird took an enormous (which goes without saying I guess, those old birds were big) shit on my window.  It's been a fun joke, but at this point I'm just ashamed.  Ashamed.

We have over thought so many options here.  New window, sliding door?  Two sliding doors?  A terrace door and a slider?  Let's blow the whole thing out and put in a greenhouse (never really an option.)  Who knew you could talk about doors so much?  Who knew you could fall asleep and still talk about doors?

We believe we will go with a 12 foot slider.  It requires a little more engineering ($.)  But we are trying to make smart decisions for our current situation and then when we plan to sell, which might be tomorrow considering the number of children in my driveway today.  I've become that adult.  I just have.


So.... step one.  You've been warned.

Chicken and Chimichurri, Delicioso! And a Cool Trick for using Knorr Cilantro Cubes

The New Year has arrived and with it my realization that I totally buy into the idea of a "fresh start."  I honestly believe that every January I can make major life changes from weight loss to financial re-birth to finding my true life calling.  I am an intelligent adult  however I continue to think there is some magic button that gets pushed on January 1 and all of my will power is restored.  I'm an idiot.

So to show you all how awesome I am at making resolutions and then totally breaking them by February, today I am posting an adapted recipe I fixed for the children and myself.  Mr. Handsome is traveling so I am forced to cook.  Actually, I love to cook but of the two of us, he is more creative, confident and skilled in the kitchen.

Breaded Chicken Breasts with Fresh Herb Chimichurri

and

Cilantro infused Jasmine Rice

Chimicurri

1 lime

3 cups loosely packed fresh cilantro

1 1/2 cups loosely packed fresh basil leaves

2 green onions(white and green parts) cut in thirds

3 T. water

1 garlic clove, peeled

1/2 t. fresh ginger (try it out of the tube, so much easier!)

1 t. crushed red pepper flakes (we like it spicy, use less if you don't)

1/4 t. salt

For the chimicurri, into a food processor, juice the lime and add cilantro, basil, green onions, water, garlic and ginger.  Cover and pulse until the ingredients are coarsely pureed.  Remove puree from processor bowl and place in smaller bowl.  Add red pepper flakes and salt to taste.  Set chimichurri aside.

Chicken and Rice

18 low-sodium Club Crackers, crushed (Use whole-grain crackers to sneak that into your diet)

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 t. light mayo

1 t. Dijon mustard

1/4 t. each salt and coarsely ground black pepper

1 T. canola oil

1 1/2 cups cooked jasmine rice (My trick here is use a rice cooker, substitute low sodium chicken broth for the water and add a Knorr cilantro mini cube seasoning, clever right?)

For the chicken, place cracker crumbs on a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees until golden brown (watch carefully or these bad boys will burn before you know it.)  then remove from the oven.  Using a kitchen mallet, flatten the chicken to 1/2 inch thickness. Season chicken with salt and pepper.  Mix mayo and mustard together in a small bowl, then with a basting brush cover chicken with mayo/mustard mixture.  Dredge chicken in cracker crumbs and press firmly to coat.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat about 1-3 minutes.  Cook chicken 5 minutes per side (this is so subjective because everyone's stovetop is slightly different, just make sure the juice run clear when cut and it's not pink in the middle.)  

Add 3 T. chimicurri to your cooked rice and mix well.  

To serve, I cut the chicken and placed it on top of an artistic shmear of dijon, then added chimicurri to the top of the chicken.  The rice was served on the side.

Okay, there you have it.  An excellent meal choice for my New Year, New Me, New You, Who Knew Celebration!   That's not really what I'm calling it but it's fun to think I could have a whole ad campaign going with a celebrity endorsement etc......

My children LOVED it.  I loved it.  We have chicken left over that I am having for lunch over a bed of arugula.  

I hope you make this, I hope you love it and I hope you let me know what you think.

Here's to an exciting January and then once February roles around we can all get back to normal.

disclosure:  This recipe is my adaptation from the Make it Fresh Make it Healthy cookbook from The Pampered Chef company.  I have made some changes to better suit my family's needs and the way we prepare food.  I do not claim to have invented this recipe or even dreamed up this recipe.  There.  Got that out of the way.

Mature and intelligent Capricorn, represented in the zodiac by the goat, boasts a great sense of mental stability and many admirable qualities. (HA!) Capricorns, those admirable people born between December 22nd and January 19th, are practical, patient, forward thinking, confident individuals who carry with them a deep sense of purpose. (Seriously?) This ambitious earth sign is in store for quite a few surprises in 2012 along with one well deserved success after another. (Please say Yes!)

42.  It's arrived.  Not in full force, but it's here.  So, I do what I do.  You read.  Welcome to my 42nd year.

1.  I probably spend too much time on my computer. But somehow it seems appropriate.

2.  I have incredible boat etiquette.  Which is weird because we are not really boat people.

3."Hey, Mom."  is a phrase, introduction, beginning to a conversation, that I hear more than you can imagine.

4. Like Jason Derulo, if I were a popstar, I would be tempted to start every song I perform by yelling my name, "Jennifer Tyler!"

5.  Dinner is always a challenge.

6.  I strive to have handwriting like an architect.  In fact, I love creating my own fonts.  With pen and paper.

7.  I had dreams of being a lavender farmer.

8.  I get great pleasure from re-organizing a drawer.  Any drawer.  It gives me a sense of control.

9.   My favorite aisle in the grocery store is the cleaning product aisle.  There is always a new scent or product being introduced.  I'm a sucker for countertop spray.

10.  My children will all be taller than me and that makes me so happy.

11.  I fall asleep quite easily.

12.  I would love to have a small cottage decorated in a "shabby chic"  kind of way.  Like a playhouse but to scale for an adult.

13.  Moss is really beautiful.  I love the color and the way it feels.

14.  Speaking of moss, if I were a Smurf, which I would love to be, I would build my mushroom house on a moss patch.

15.  I DO NOT watch scary movies.  I just can't.

16.  Twitter has become my new challenge.  I am learning to use it slowly everyday.

17.  An emerald cut diamond is in my future.

18.  I love to watch my children swim.  They are amazing in the water.

19.  I should take some classes.  Photography.  Pottery.  Cooking. Accounting.  I need to continue learning.

20.  Planning parties is quite fun for me.  I tend to go overboard.

21.  See's Bordeaux candies make me smile.

22.  I like to be creative but at times I am embarassed by my creativity.  

23.  I never intend to make people feel inadequate.  That is one of the most hurtful things you could do.

24.  The numbers in my house address add up to 24.  I like that.

25.  I've often gone over in my head, "if my house was burning how would I get everything important to me out."  It's an awful thing to think about.

26.  At some point in my life, I would like to have a circus themed birthday party.  According to #26, I probably shouldn't plan it or elephants might be involved.

27.  My husband has become more handsome over the years.  He was a hottie when we got married.

28.  Sadly, I find some reality tv entertaining.  Hoarders.  Gross but totally entertaining.

29.  I love to dance.  Karaoke scares me. But I love to dance.

30.   I have no time for politics.  It pisses me off.  It's frustrating.  I think our government is a bunch of rich people who only give a shit about their own agenda.  Now you say, "NO DUH."

31.  I worry I will never be as successful as my parents.  Will my children feel the same?

32.  I only had 2 children when I was 32.

33.  I am proud of Here at the Hive.  I believe it's a nice representation of me.

34.  We feel lucky to have our parents around.  To have parents that are still living is a gift.  Mr. Handsome and I recognize this.

35.  I have met an amazing bunch of people.  In a weird turn of events I was invited to be part of the Snowmamas.  And in that, my life has changed.  in a great way! 

36.   I ordered a peppermint frappuchino the other day.  I drank half of it and then realized the calorie count.  The half I drank was delicious.

37.  When I was 13, I hated the idea of having boobs.  At 42, I love the idea of having boobs.  I will help my daughter feel the same way.

38.  Wind scares the shit out of me.  I. hate. wind.

39.  The ability to write a thank you note, actually write, with your own handwriting, is a dying art.  I insist that my children have that ability.

40.  It's the new 30?  Really?  That seems weird.  Why can't it just be 40.

41.  I feel more grown up this year.  I am easing into the new 30's.  I think by the time I'm the"new 39"  I'll have my 40's figured out.

42.  Being a little more selfish, it's what I'm considering as my gift to me.  I'll work on it.  But loving everyone around me, it's a priority.

Thanks for sharing today with me.  It make my day just what it should be, the very happy part of being alive.  Happy, Happy.

A dog party! A big dog party! Big dogs, little dogs, red dogs, blue dogs, yellow dogs, green dogs, black dogs, and white dogs are all at a dog party! What a dog party! - P.D. Eastman

We had a birthday at our house this week.  I have kind of given up on birthday parties.  When my kids were really little, I went all out.   Made the cake, did all of the decorations, hand-made party favors, games.  I can honestly say I took birthday parties to a whole new level.

But I burned out.  And, they just stopped wanting to have them.  Going out to dinner with one friend or taking a friend to the movies is sort of our "go to" celebration now.  But the birthday we celebrated this week is special.    NO MR. HANDSOME DID NOT TURN 50!







Lola the dog turned 1.  Yep, my puppy is growing up......

Lola came to us with her sister Daizy during the holidays last year from our wonderful local shelter.  Mr. Handsome and I thought fostering some puppies during the holidays would be a fun experience for the kids.  We took 2 of the litter of 10 with NO INTENTION of keeping either of these puppies.  NO INTENTION!

But wait, are you kidding me?  Look at that!  Emma acted like the best mommy ever.  She truly loves Lola.  So when someone or something has such an impact on everyone in your family, you should celebrate their birthday!

I gathered up some craft supplies and a cookbook and got to my party planning!

I traced out an old party hat that I used as my template.  Making party hats is SO easy and a great way to customize a party.  Plus anyone that has a head can wear one!

The hats turned out great.  Now on to the treats.  A few years back I bought a dog treat cookbook.  I don't use it a ton but it's fun to make special treats for birthdays or holiday gifts for neighbor dogs (yes, I do that.)

Now, here's the hitch.  Our oven died.  RIP.  gonzo.  off to appliance heaven.  bit the dust.  Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to come up with dinner items that are all stove top, microwave or grilled.  Suddenly, we are all craving casseroles, homemade bread, souffles, braised meats.  ANYTHING from the OVEN!  Anyhoo, the dog treat cookbook has a microwave recipe.  So, Microwave Molasses Oatmeal Treats were on the menu.  But, I never got around to making them.  Cuz, I'm busy.  I have 3 kids with lots of homework, after school activities, laundry, non-baked dinner to make.  I'm freaking busy!


But I made hats.  

We partied like it was 1999.  We celebrated a very special friend.  She's the bestest.

Happy Birthday you squirrely little, tennis ball-loving, speed demon, freakaziod!  WE LOVE YOU!