Sunday, February 28, 2010

Love in an Elevator, can I see you later and love you just a little more?

A weekend spent at Macy's is a weekend for the record books.  Okay it wasn't a weekend it was an hour on Sunday, but it felt like a weekend.  Oy.  Here's me making funny faces into the mirror in the dressing room whilst Q modeled "skinny jeans" for Mr. Handsome and Ladycakes.  Why do I get stuck backstage?  Totally dealing with the fray!  My opinion doesn't matter.  It leaves me making funny faces in the mirror and photographing them.

Okay, skinny jeans for Q.  Boys dig the skinny jeans.  It's crazy fun shopping for these bad boys. Check the teal!  #1 on Q's list.  We did remind him that some 3rd graders might find the teal skinny jeans a bit "flashy" but he's willing to deal with the ridicule.  I am raising my own Stephen Tyler, (hopefully without the drug abuse) but my boy has a rock 'n roll attitude.  I love it.  I have it but don't know how to show it.  The teal skinny jeans rock my world.

So rock 'roll.  Look how cute that boy is.  Now if the skinny jeans affect his school work the shit's coming down.  Mama's takin' those jeans and making you wear khakis.  But boy, you crack me up.  I love the swagger those skinny jeans give you. I'll keep that swagger in check but a little swagger goes a long way.

Elvis insisted on getting his own skinny jeans.  Red and black.  Oh my Hell it's AC/DC at it's finest.  And he's 4.  Wow!  Hilarious.  They rock those skinny jeans, my boys.  Ladycakes scammed some Roxy sweatpants because she has figured out I'm a SUCKA'!

We saw great art this weekend.  The Kimball Art Center is amazing and offers terrific exhibits.  We are so lucky being in a small town and an incredible art community.  We checked out this exhibit this weekend.  4 to 79 (years) enjoyed it (we saw it with grandparents, but everyone enjoyed.)

Pictures check them.... there is SO much to this exhibit.  It's full of themes and has so many strange contradictions.  It's political, religious, contradictory, incredible.

I love the fact that men and boys can be creative and flashy.  I learned that at the art exhibit and the skinny jean shopping.  Boys and Men have a lot to express.  And, their expression should be celebrated. I love what these incredibly creative people do, it's brilliant.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

I should all over myself today. It's terrible cleaning up your own should.

The boredom today was mind numbing.  Killing me, mind numbing.  I did NOTHING today. NOOOTHHINNG.  It was pathetic and frustrating.    Above is a small example of the lameness I deal with, is it Sonic or is it Phinneas and Ferb?  And how does any of it matter?  Is it curing diabetes?  Any of you who have any cause should be disgusted.  I am disgusting.  I swore I wouldn't mention it but I suspect a few of you have had similar days.  They happen.    Elvis has a double ear infection so we hung today. He could have been at school but I'm lazy and full of excuses.  We hung out and now I am ready for him to leave and go to college.  It's been a long day.

I mentioned my swap at Urban Craft.  I am totally in  a crazy frenzy over what to do, what to do! I could sew.  But, I am having a fabric, felt, paper collage thing goin' on.  It's over-achiever at it's finest.  In my mind it's great.  But fer reals?  Ladycakes is all in my face over this.  She wants to quit 6th grade and join the swap.  She has all sorts of ideas.  Some good, some annoying.  She's gettin' in my shit.  I'm 40. I'm allowed to have a hobby.  She needs to concentrate on math, World language, social studies, etc... not being me.    Good Lord.

Tomorrow I am attempting to get back to a thrift store that had a cool white lamp I'd like try to make more of, but will have to drive more than 5 miles and did I mention I'm lazy.

I've got a crazy fun felt collage going on but don't have a camera that has a battery.  Clearly, professional blogger or professional anything, I ain't.

I just signed up for the Professional Should'r Contest.  No one Shoulds like I Should!

I might try making a "Should on Yourself "diaper.  Totally green, totally made in America, totally craftactular.  It could come in all sorts of sizes.  Petite, Small, Small Medium. Medium, Medium Large, Large, Large Large , Extra Large.

Tomorrow I promise to be Should-free.  Thanks for listening.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

If I drank Chardonnay at lunch, my house would be prettier.

It must be February.  Today I have been wandering around my house trying to figure out how to make it look entirely different.  I want to totally change it up, go with different color schemes, buy all new furniture, make it bigger and totally eliminate any sign of children.  If I have to try to figure out how to incorporate Ninja Turtles, Playstation remotes and the random blue or green nail polish bottles and hair bands into my decor for much longer I am going to lose it.

We still have quite a bit of snow.  Spring isn't springing here.  I have a ways to go before I can get out of my Winter funk and move onto my Spring mania.  You know the time where I start planning the garage sale I swore I would never have again!  So I went out looking for some inspiration.  Here's what I found that is turning me on and sure to make Mr. Handsome roll his eyes and walk away.

Note the absence of any Ninja Turtles.

I particularly like the fact there are not puppy-sized fur balls collecting in the corners.

It's just so clean!  And fresh.

Notice there is no T.V. in this room, therefore no Playstation remotes. 
I absolutely LOVE those red chairs, that no doubt the owner found while searching the local
antique store after she had finished a lovely lunch with her girlfriends where they drank Chardonnay
and talked about the vacations they have planned for this summer.  I hate that bitch.

Oh and look at this charming table she found.  Love how there isn't a day-old (still full of yesterday's garbage) lunch box, a pair of dirty socks, 2 winter hats, the mail, 2 dog leashes, a cupcake wrapper and the car keys covering it.  

I might just start moving furniture around.  It would make me feel better.  I might even unearth Donatello.  He's been missing for weeks, he's probably hiding because he hates February too.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Mr. Handsome says, "I've had enough hick for one day."

We needed to get out of the house today.  I've been cooped up for a few days and the kids needed to see something other than the TV on or the Playstation in action.  Mr. Handsome rallied us to get moving and we headed out to the RV Show.  Huh?  What did I just say?  Did I say RV Show?  Uh huh and yep and you betcha!

This is a first for this swarm.  We weren't sure what to expect.... it's huge.  Tons and tons of RV's.  We would love a tent trailer, which is not fancy.  We saw fancy.  We live in a beautiful place where camping is something we could do every weekend.  A tent trailer would make it fun and comfortable.

Now you can look at about 5 to 8 RVs, the fancy ones (which btw cost upwards of $40,000!)  and then you start to feel like you have seen them all.  Q couldn't take it anymore, Elvis wanted to get his face-painted.  That's a whole different post.  So in order to keep the little bees interested we started looking for faces.  Not REAL faces but faces on the RV's.  It helped.

Cool.  We survived.  It was either faces or tacky t-shirts.  We saw a baby with a t-shirt that said "If you think my daddy's an asshole, just wait until I grow up."  This is a community we are considering joining.  So proud.  Watch out, I might be able to wear a mean mullet.

Okay on a whole different note, look at this.  You could win this.  And if you do, I will come and steal it from you.

Pillow Factory Alphabet Down Filled Pillow GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Thankfully, my audience is friendly and generally doesn't say anything.

Elvis is under the weather.  Poor kiddo.  The bees have been off of school this week.  I can guarantee that come Sunday evening both of the big bees will have come down with whatever little bee has. (Terrible grammar there I know, but it's 1:40 in the afternoon and everybody is still in their jammies watching Wow Wow Wubbzy.  Clearly order and rules are not applying to any aspect of my life.) 

My big kids always get sick during a school break usually the day before they have to go back.  At first I thought they were faking but usually it's a true blue illness.  Someone should do a study and then pay me for letting my kids be test subjects.  I could use the money.

Look at him!  It's pathetic.

Okay but enough about that.  

I don't think I have mentioned that I am participating in a craft swap.  First ever.  I am losing my craft-swap virginity and I even told my mom about it.  She's quite proud.  So Urban Craft is having a swap with the inspiration being the Olympic mascots and their creators.  Meomi.

So today in my email I got the name of the person I have to send my item to (there I go again with the bad grammar.)  Maybe instead of a craft swap, I should take an online grammar course.  Anyhoodle.

So now I am freaking out.  Stalking my recipient on her blog to see how crafty she is, has she won any craft awards?  Like Crafter of the Year?  International Super Crafter?  She Can Craft and Parent at the Same Time Award?  Seriously, what if she works for some cool craft design company and is on an assignment to find America's Worst Crafter?  And then what if she picks me?

Here's the deal,  I totally pressured my friend over at wifemotherexpletive to join this swap.  I figured misery loves company.  I secretly hoped our names would somehow be drawn to swap with each other (because THAT could really happen) and then we could laugh together and not embarrass ourselves.  Although I suspect Miss WME is a great crafter who is just hiding it from all of us!

So I gotta get on this thing.  I have to send it by March 20th.  I'll share as I work on it.  Probably all on March 19th.  Just kidding.

Off to wipe a nose and dance along to Olivia.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Cheesy? Perhaps, it's how I roll.

I've been known to be a bit obsessive.  Shocking?  Nah?!

But once I get a bee in my bonnet (so to speak) it buzzes about until I've driven the rest of the Hive cccahahaaharrraaazzzyy!  Luckily, Mr. Handsome is tolerant  (aside from the fact that he's hot), it's definitely one of the reasons this whole chestnut works so nicely.  He indulges me.  You'll understand once you see the rest of this nonsense.  I know, go with a brand and just embrace it.  But really?  Really?  Should I be SO committed?

Oh yes, I should!

And then, yes I did!

But wait and what and then huh? and what?

But excuse me a minute, that's not it. That's not enough.  Let's take it a step further.  The kid's aren't totally bugging the shit out of us.....

So let's drive a little bit further and see if we can indulge Mama Bee just a smidgen' more.  I think it can happen, oh yes it can happen.....


So, the Beehive Cheese Co. in Uintah, Ut.  Rocks my world. Delicious? yes.  Local? (for me) yes.  Such a great idea, oh my goodness and an amen yes.  Two retired men, choosing to keep on keepin' on and therefore making amazing cheese, award-winning cheese.  It will knock your socks off, blow your mind and then tickle your pickle.  You are gonna love this.  Go, Order, Indulge, Digest and then do it all over again.


For those wanting to check our new family theme song.  Check it, Check, Check, Check it.  1, 2, 3, 4.....

Add "Imma Bee" sung by Black Eyed Peas to my Life Soundtrack.

Monday, February 15, 2010

A funny thing happened on the way to the bleachers......

Sounds like the beginning of joke, I know.  But you are not going to believe this.  Mr. Handsome and I took the little bees up north this weekend for a swim meet.  First swim meet for the bees, so we stayed the night in a hotel (it was actually a motel, which tripped them out because you "entered from the outside.") and made it into a little getaway.  According to Elvis, we stayed in a "Mo Hell"  which it wasn't, it had been updated but it still cracked us up.

Okay back to the point.  The kids were on deck all warmed up, ready to compete and Mr. Handsome and I headed to the upper level to find a spot in the bleachers.  Elvis was tagging along and we were shlepping coats, toys, backpacks, you name it into the 88 degree upper deck of this swimming pool.  I was totally overdressed and at this point sweating a bit.  Suddenly I hear, "Excuse me?  Excuse me?"  coming from behind me.  At first I thought it was someone getting ready to tell me my youngest bee had already broken some sort of rule.  So I turned around and standing there are these two lovely women.

This is what follows.....

Lovely woman #1: "Excuse me, hi."
me: "Hi."
Lovely woman #2 stands quietly next to Lovely woman #1 and smiles.
Lovely woman #1: "Hi.  We were just wondering, do you have a blog?"
me inside going "oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.  yes I do!  I sure hope you like my blog or else I am going to be super embarrassed."
me after getting control of myself:  "Yes I do."
Lovely woman #1: "Hi I'm Carol."
me to myself:  "I know Carol, she's one of my followers.  Carol recognized me.  Carol writes really cool stuff on her blog.  I AM MEETING CAROL!"
Lovely woman #2:  "Hi, I'm Jennie, Carol's daughter."
me, trying to wipe the sweat off of my nose and gain some composure:  "I am so glad to meet you!"

How does this happen?  I met someone who reads my blog!  I met someone who's blog I read!  This is CRAZY!  Needless to say it took me about 30 minutes to pull my shit together, I was so excited.  I visited with Carol quite a bit.  She's charming.  Her kids are darling.  Jennie, her oldest daughter is adorable and now I am reading her blog.  You should too.  The weekend was really fun.  Meeting my blog friends was an added bonus.  Do think it will ever happen again?

If this meeting is anything like the next one could be, I sure hope so.  Hi Carol.  Hi Jennie.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Teacher know they deserve it.

This is it, I promise.  Enough with the Valentine's already.  Elvis's party is tomorrow and I think I've mentioned before his teachers are a great bunch.  I got to know them quite well during the lockdown, if you remember.   He has one teacher for his little group but there are 7 teachers total in the school and they really help ALL of the children.

Teachers too often get overlooked.  So many parents take them for granted.  I know because I was one.  There is a lot of expectation for greatness from teachers but then little reward (aside from seeing these little people learn and grow, I'm talkin' goods here people!)

The moneytree is buried (and by "buried" I mean gasping for any signs of life) under a bunch of snow (and by "snow" I mean bills galore)  Here at the Hive, so I was working on a tight budget.  Here's what we came up with.

 We headed over to TJ Maxx and got the Maxx for the Minn.  Oy.

24 colorful washcloths..... $9.98!
7 assorted shower gels.....$4.99!
Sucking up to  Rewarding hardworking teachers....priceless!

And because I ALWAYS have to take it one step further, here's what I did.  I combined two washcloths, the ribbon all of the washcloths were wrapped in, some pom poms I had in my stash and made some cupcakes.  Cute, no?

Wrapped in a cello bag with a shower gel and a fancy hand-drawn cupcake tag and it's done.  Cross it off the list.  I gotta start thinking about St. Patrick's Day.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Valentine Collection Box and some Valentines. Totally last minute!

Q's class is celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow.  His teacher is brilliant.  She decided if they did it mid-week the kids wouldn't be totally annoying the WHOLE week.  I like the way this woman thinks.  Needless to say we've been procrastinating on Q's Valentines.  Do we go with a Mario theme?  Different cards for the girls?  Lovey-dovey vs. Masculine?  Sooooo many decisions.

Here's what we came up with.  First stop the collection box.

After I cleared off the kitchen table from our breakfast.  Just kidding, this is not what we ate for breakfast.  This is the garbage  recycled materials, we used for his collection box.  I cut open the Doritos bag and cleaned the remaining cheese residue off, leaving a lovey, shiny and very workable material.  Q wanted to use aluminum foil but we are on a budget!

Turns out the Doritos bag works better than foil because it doesn't wrinkle like foil.  A much cleaner look.  We wrapped the Sprite box with the Doritos bag using shipping tape.

And boy howdy, look how slick it is!  Next we added some construction paper and pipe cleaner decorations.  And some calendar pieces Mr. Handsome was throwing away recycling.

Doesn't it rock!?  We are very proud of this little masterpiece.  Easy, didn't cost a cent to make and will hold TONS of Valentines.  Now on to the Valentines.  While wasting time doing research on the Internet I came across this brilliant idea by Alyssa.  I couldn't resist so we went for it.

First you take a picture of your Valentine subject, here sporting the always popular Randy Moss/Mario look. Have your subject hold his/her fist out in front of their body.

If you have Photoshop (I do not) you can add some words onto the picture.  I instead copied the picture into a Word document and added the Valentine message.  I wanted to have it read "You are what you eat!"  note the Dum Dums also in the picture but that was vetoed.  Print out the pictures with message and cut to the desired size.

With an Exacto knife, cut a small slit at the top and bottom of child's hand and slide a lollipop through the slit.  Isn't it cool?  Totally looks like his hand is coming off the page.  It's easy and does not take a lot of craft supplies or talent.

You should totally make these today.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I'm a Scrappy Crafter, which is better than a Crappy Scrafter.

I am aware of my thrifty ways.  When crafting, I like to use what I have or find what I need in the discount bin.  I just love that challenge.  The materials I chose to use for Elvis's Valentines are just that, what we had and what I bought at Big Lots, just because I knew some day I would use it.  Elvis is still young enough to let me be in charge of his Valentines.  I love that.  The control is exhilarating!  Next year, it's all him.

I love using scraps.  I've mentioned it before.  The scraps inspire me.  Here's what we started with. Scrap packs of paper, I only use the colors I have, it's part of the challenge.  Foam pieces which are quite fun.  Not only do they add dimension but they can be whatever you want them to be.

Next,  a little robot drawing, easily copied on the good ol' printer.
Coloring each was therapeutic for me.  I love to color.

The robot is coming together, now what would a robot say on a Valentine?  Sadly, I spent way to much time trying to figure this out.  Finally I settled on text speak.  It's what all the kids are doing today.

Clever?  Probably not but I'm pleased with the message.  Elvis has 9 Boys (oh yes I said 9 boys, his teacher is a Saint!) in his class.  These needed to be boyish.   If you need other great boy ideas, follow that link.  We are leaving the lovey-dovey stuff to Q.  Or as we are referring to him lately, "Romeo."

A shout out to Urban Craft for the heart in cartoon-speech balloon.  It just worked perfectly.  So one child is ready for Valentine's Day.  Q has some work to do including a Valentine mailbox, we have a good idea.  I'll share it tomorrow.  

In the meantime, robot love is quite nice.  I'm feeling it.

Add "Robot Love sung by Allison Iraheta" to My Life Soundtrack.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I'm pissed, I think I'm Country Living Cool. I'm wrong.

Can't tell from this photo but I'm pissed.  I have all of these great post ideas and NO TIME to photograph, choreograph, style, alter and then re-do all of it.

Then my ideas are out there on everyone-else's blogs.  So clearly my ideas aren't original.  But my personality, all mine.

So question? (as Dwight Shrute would suggest)  How do you have time to photograph the art project/craft project you want to show off?  I'm usually so busy gluing that photography is scary! I risk getting stuck to my camera.

Tomorrow I will offer my Valentine craft with pictures for your approval (all 2 of you.)  Robots and love can be quite sexy.  You'll see.

Seize ya' in the manana!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Madeleine's Pins make me very happy. Jewelry and Politics do mix.

So I've decided to try reading.  My reading often involves just looking at pretty pictures.  I'm a visual one.  Words?  Love words.  Love to play with words, twist words, change words....but sometimes reading them takes too much effort.  I tend to like words for their visual aspects.  Someday I will discuss that further.

Wanna know what I'm reading, do ya', do ya'?  Please say "yes."  because I'm going to tell you regardless.

Let me start by saying, I am not political.  Meaning, ask me about politics and I'm wishy-washy.  Firstly, it SO doesn't interest me.  In my humble opinion, politics are ridiculous.  It's totally corrupt.  It's "bait and switch" it's "I've been sold a bill of goods!"  It's darn right silly.  I don't think my vote counts.  I live in Utah and tend to vote the Democrat-side of things (I just ruined my chance at several job applications, if those hiring happen upon this here blog.)  I am not a devote Democrat.  I cannot commit like that.  Secondly, I think politicians are slimy.  A bit criminal, as wishy-washy as me.  So, not willing to commit.  Maybe I'd be a great politician (without the slimy, criminal stuff)!

 But this book makes me very happy.  This is my kind of politics.  It's politics but it's also jewelry.  And covert communication (I LOVE COVERT COMMUNICATION!)  Jewelry, educated-creative-covert communication?!  This woman rocks my world.  Rocks it!  There is so much about this read that I dig.  check this quote....

"Naturally, not every diplomatic encounter demands a sunny attitude.  If I wanted to deliver a sharp message, I often wore a bee. Muhammad Ali used to boast that he would "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee"; my message was that America would try to resolve every controversy peacefully, but if pushed into a corner, we had both the will and a way to strike back."  page 93 Read My Pins by Madeleine Albright.

So that's one of the books I'm reading.  I'll introduce another book in the next day or two.  Check this one out at your local library or just buy it.  You'll browse over it for hours.  And, then scour thrift stores for some costume jewelry of your own.

Monday, February 1, 2010

One Small Change, Month Two!

Month One went quite nicely.  Ladycakes has done an outstanding job of turning off her lights.  Quite proud of the Miss.  Q has not had much opportunity to walk to school due to weather and a recovering Mother but that is on the back burner.  It will happen.  Elvis has had to practice SERIOUS restraint in the wardrobe department.  But, he's doing it and we applaud when we see the same PJ's two nights in a row.

Mr. Handsome changed the thermostat.  It's chilly in certain parts of the house but I am learning to wear an afghan quite fashionably.  I am draping it as if I am Fleur Cowles, my newest obsession.  Haven't done great with the cloth napkins, but Mom has been under the weather so we'll put that on the back burner as well.

Note to self, don't start a challenge before going into major surgery.

This month is going to be fun.  Here's what we have planned.

Mr. Handsome and I will try to find organic alcoholic beverages to consume.  It's me.  This is how I participate.  We found this excellent vodka that has a great concept.  We will support this company.

Ladycakes is going to try re-purposing some of her clothes.  Starting with socks.  Check this great idea.  She will not only make a fashion statement but a few pairs of socks will NOT make it to our local landfill.  Plus, we might have a few new birthday gift ideas!

Q and Elvis are going to help me with our compost pile. Yes, we have a composter.    And, I didn't buy this model because Oprah recommended it.  I had mine before Oprah.  Told you we were kinda "green."  The boys will be in charge of dumping and churning the frozen, not totally frozen, compost.  It's working, the bin never over flows, it's just a little slow.  They will LOVE wielding a pitch fork.  And maybe come June, we will be able to use some of the compost to really spice up our garden.

Note to self, monitor pitchfork wielding!

Duh, yes, we have a garden.  Just because I talk about Snoop Dogg doesn't mean I don't have a garden!  Don't mind my own identity confusion.

So, we are up for Month Two, Here at the Hive.  We are being conscious of our actions and our choices. That's the point, right?   GO GREEN!

Thanks Carol@ Songberries