If Fifth Grade accepted 41 year olds, I'd fit right it.

I love Fall.  It's a beautiful time of year.  The weather is ideal.  Temperatures are nice, the grass doesn't grow as fast so there is less mowing.  The snow hasn't started to fly yet so there's no shoveling.  The leaves are just changing and haven't begun to drop from the trees so there is no raking.  Perhaps I love Fall because I'm lazy.

I think NOT.

I've been working on getting the family to try new things.  Fall brought the opportunity for us to go apple picking.  My inner-farmer was ALL over this.  We could go and pick apples in the changing Fall sunlight.  Sunlight that makes us all look prettier.  The wind could whisper through the trees while the honeybees buzzed sweet songs of encouragement in our ears.  I could wear a bonnet and an apron and carry a bushel basket I had woven earlier in the summer.  We should TOTALLY go apple picking!

The apple picking was great.  It poured down rain.  There was lightning flashing all around us while we wielded picking sticks high into the trees.  In all honesty, the rain added an extra level of "adventure."    The trees are 130 year old heirloom apple trees.  Not sure what kind of apples they are but we figured we needed 5 bags of them.  5 bags.

So we picked and picked and picked.

We came home with a shitload of apples.


Well, it's been 5 days since we picked apples I decided it was time to do something with them before they all began to rot on my counter.

So I made applesauce.  How clever.

This is 2 bags worth of apples.  First I peeled the apples.

I peeled and peeled and peeled.  Now my inner-homesteader was totally excited about the outcome of my peeling.  My fictious chickens are going to love this special apple peel treat.  I am sure they will all scurry into the coop and lay dozens upon dozens of eggs for me.  As a thank you for my generous offering of heirloom apple peels.  They really do love me so.

Step 3 requires quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  Again, Henney, Penney, Lenney, Jenney, Benney, and Zenney (my fictitious chickens)  will love the results of Step 3.  But oh girls, you won't get all of the cores for some must go into my compost pile.  Not fictitious by the way.

Finally, some sugar.  A little more sugar.  A pinch of salt.  Some water.  How about just a tad more sugar?  And several "glug glugs" of Applejack and we are off.  Apples boiling, breaking down, making the house smell nice.

I DID IT!  I made applesauce.  It looks pretty.  It smells great.  The kids are going to LOVE it.

Well, it turns out Ladycakes is "kind of picky about applesauce.  You know it's not bad but it's not the best applesauce I've ever had."  WTF?  Q and Elvis have decided they are "too full" after 2 pieces of cinnamon toast to even try it.  I thought kids were supposed to be STARVING after school?

Well, there is a happy ending.  A silver lining.  A reason for spending  2 1/2 hours of our day working on a task.  A reward.

Look what I found while I was peeling the apples.

An apple bottom!  I am in love with it.  As you can imagine I sang Flo Rida's" Low".  THE.  ENTIRE. TIME. I made applesauce.  Me, alone in my kitchen, singing about Shawty and her boots with the fur.  God, I love making applesauce.





Add Flo Rida's "Low" to my Lifesoundtrack.  Careful, there are some explicit lyrics here.  So use your best judgement if you are sharing with kiddos.  Just sayin'.

The black birds outside tell me it's Spring. It's Ornithorgasmic.

The weather here is questionable.  It threatens constantly.  Cloudly, rainy, snowy.  It's just questionable.  But today I experienced it.  The sign of Spring.  The black birds in my backyard are busy.  Some are flaunting, some are chasing, some are fleeing.  They are BUSY!  It reminded me that Winter won't last forever.

Baby birds are being created.  There is a whole lot of ornitho-foreplay happening in my backyard.  It makes me happy when blue skies are gray......


I am hopeful, not horny, birds don't do it for me.

Fondue? Do you? It's fun to fondue, you should too. please do.

Okay, I know it looks like we live in the 70's.  Busting out the TV trays and  the fondue pot, totally living bi-centenial.  Look out 1976, we are making our move.  Tonight's New Year's Eve celebration involved fondue, broccoli, cauliflower, french bread, pretzel sticks, lil smokies and cheese, cheese, cheese.  It was delicious and fun and I want to thank Hilary for the inspiration!

Dick Clark is on the agenda, really Ryan Seacrest but I feel like I should pay homage to the man who owns New Year's Eve.  We might even play a little Pictionary on Udraw, if we get it set up.  Safe and sound at home.  Looking forward to starting new.

Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year!

Hey Mom, Are you thinking about making a Turducken? Nope, I'm not.

* See that question mark up there.  Pretend it's a cartoon bee preparing to carve a Thanksgiving turkey. It's a smiling bee and deliciously roasted turkey.  It's totally random..... now, go ahead.  Read.

I'm probably so not supposed to be using this image.  You know because it's so cool and it makes so much sense.  Can't you hear the creative department, " We should totally draw a bee showing off the turkey it cooked all day, the bee should have a big grin.  It's awesome.  I love this.  It'll be a huge seller."

Okay random, while flipping through images attempting to be inspired I found it.  I am most likely the ONLY person that has looked at this image and thought, "Well, that would work."

Whatever, the damage is done.

Happy Thanksgiving.  I can't believe we are here already.  Sooooo,  thankful.  Hmmmm.  I am thankful.  I have so much. 

House- love it and hate it all at once.  It's cute, it keeps us dry and comfortable.  It's expensive to maintain.  It's always dusty.  We are so lucky to have it.  I like it, I love it, it's alright.

Family- We have family nearby.  Mr. Handsome's family and my family live within 20 minutes of us.  We are lucky.  So many of our friends rarely see their families.  Our parents are healthy and alive and available to engage their grandchildren.  That's cool.  Brother and sister-in-law are rocking in Southern USA.  Wish they lived closer.  Thanksgiving would be different.

Friends- love them.  We have great friends.  Jen and Ker, hilarious.....laugh out loud at 1:00 in the morning.  Fuzz and LeeAnne are steady, solid and FUNNY!  Hil and Jay, she's my personal physician.  He's my social media guru.  Their kids... my kids besties.  

Pets- Emma is old.  Old, old, old.  I worry.  She misses "That Naughty Dog."  I miss "That Naughty Dog."  Sheba, the cat with mange because she is too old to clean herself , is dear to me.   I love her but honestly when is she going to kick the bucket?

Mr. Handsome and my children- probably should be at the top of the list.  love his patience, his tolerance, his understanding that he's the luckiest lucker in the whole lucking world.  Little bees.....Ladycakes - perfect.  Q - challenging beyond challenging but just because he's perfect too.  Elvis-hilarious, silly, strangely out there... but only because he's perfect.

Blog-  I love my dear blog.  I dig the folks that read, watch, wonder, question, criticize, encourage, laugh, point, barf or just show up.  This is fun.  

A few other things I am thankful for....Tervis Tumblers, Dansko clogs, Jolly Ranchers, Advil, Rubber Cement, gumballs, bird feeders, hashbrowns, Adam Richman, Seagram's 7, talcum powder, the ability to forget, a sense of humor, almonds, jeggings (not because I wear them, just because they exist and it's hilarious) Crest Pro-Health toothpaste, Phineas and Ferb and any kind of platypus, i phones, popcorn, slippers, corks, hot glue guns, words, spelling and playing with words, big televisions, imagination, very dark nail polish, loud music (Nelly is a fav.)  ohhhhh, sooo many things for which to be thankful.

My family wishes your family a very happy Thanksgiving.  If you are reading here, you some how relate and we relate right back at you.  It's not always easy, we know.  We live it daily.  Here's to being thankful for what we have, it's way more than we realize!

5 inches and counting.....

Meet "Susie the Ski-crow."  She was one of 23 scarecrows I helped build at Q and Elvis's elementary school.  It was an incredible, wonderful, enlightening and creative experience that I wouldn't trade for anything.

I highlight Susie because as of this evening I have 5 inches of snow on my sidewalk.  Yep I do.  Uh, huh, it's true.  I'm not kidding.

So, we are planning Halloween (oh yea, we are.  The count for the party is currently at 50 and I'm sorry but have you been to our house?  It so does not hold 50.)  Don't tell Evite.

But, we are really planning skiing.  What do we need?  Who's feet have grown?  Who is taller than they were last year, certainly not me!  In fact, it's possible I  am wider, does that count?

I'm saying "goodbye" to Fall.  You were marvelous, full of wonderful autumnal colors.  I will miss your reds, oranges and yellows.  Hello white.  You are here and here to stay.  Most likely until April.  Without pulling out the Christmas carols, I will welcome you.  We are ready to enjoy the wonders.

Snow angels
Snow balls
Snow men
Sledding
Snow shoeing
Skiing
Brisk fresh cold air
A reminder of what it feels like to be alive
Like diving into the Atlantic ocean in the middle of summer.

Oh there you are my soul.

Welcome, Winter.