The one where I use my noggin and don't go to Hell.

I have a list of to-dos that could wrap around my house about 30 times.  I cross one thing off and then add 5 things.  I know I'm not alone.  All of you out there deal with the same stuff.  I actually have become more lenient on myself.  A few years ago, if I didn't get a birthday present out in time, I was probably going to Hell.  Seriously, in my mind there was judging..... lots and lots of judging.

Well, that's where today's story begins, a birthday present.  And you thought it was where I was going to Hell, silly you.

My darling nephew is turning one year older TOMORROW.  Look what's sitting on my ironing board.  Yep, it's his present.  And guess what, I have to ship it.  Yep, it's gonna be late.  But, that isn't even the real story.  Look at that cool Skylander (as seen here) and then a stack of candy which any good Aunt would send, then look at that snazzy boyish, yet hip gift bag.  No licensed characters.  Just a great combo of turquoise and red.  Complimentary colors.  Yum.

Well one cannot have a gift bag full of Great Gift, if there isn't tissue paper to fluff it, stuff it and make you work for said gift.  It breaks gift wrapping rules in some universe.  My universe.

Solution?  Indeed.

I came home with the infamous Target plastic bags.  Apologies to my friends out there who remember to take their reusable bags into the store.  I am not one of you, I forget.  EVERY TIME.  I love that bullseye design.  It's just nice and graphic and WAIT! the colors are perfect for what I am doing.

Armed with my scissors, I cut up those bags and created my own pieces of "tissue paper."

NICE!  The remaining parts of the bag will go into the shipping box as packing material or will be recycled tomorrow curbside.

The package is stuffed, fluffed and ready for delivery.  The gift tag is obviously a paint swatch/color sample.  Turns out it works beautifully.

I cannot wait for his gift to arrive at his doorstep.  He won't care that there is "tissue" paper but I do.  Happy Birthday, Roman.  Don't eat all that candy in one sitting and welcome to the addiction that is Skylanders.  It's my way of torturing your Dad.

If Fifth Grade accepted 41 year olds, I'd fit right it.

I love Fall.  It's a beautiful time of year.  The weather is ideal.  Temperatures are nice, the grass doesn't grow as fast so there is less mowing.  The snow hasn't started to fly yet so there's no shoveling.  The leaves are just changing and haven't begun to drop from the trees so there is no raking.  Perhaps I love Fall because I'm lazy.

I think NOT.

I've been working on getting the family to try new things.  Fall brought the opportunity for us to go apple picking.  My inner-farmer was ALL over this.  We could go and pick apples in the changing Fall sunlight.  Sunlight that makes us all look prettier.  The wind could whisper through the trees while the honeybees buzzed sweet songs of encouragement in our ears.  I could wear a bonnet and an apron and carry a bushel basket I had woven earlier in the summer.  We should TOTALLY go apple picking!

The apple picking was great.  It poured down rain.  There was lightning flashing all around us while we wielded picking sticks high into the trees.  In all honesty, the rain added an extra level of "adventure."    The trees are 130 year old heirloom apple trees.  Not sure what kind of apples they are but we figured we needed 5 bags of them.  5 bags.

So we picked and picked and picked.

We came home with a shitload of apples.


Well, it's been 5 days since we picked apples I decided it was time to do something with them before they all began to rot on my counter.

So I made applesauce.  How clever.

This is 2 bags worth of apples.  First I peeled the apples.

I peeled and peeled and peeled.  Now my inner-homesteader was totally excited about the outcome of my peeling.  My fictious chickens are going to love this special apple peel treat.  I am sure they will all scurry into the coop and lay dozens upon dozens of eggs for me.  As a thank you for my generous offering of heirloom apple peels.  They really do love me so.

Step 3 requires quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  Again, Henney, Penney, Lenney, Jenney, Benney, and Zenney (my fictitious chickens)  will love the results of Step 3.  But oh girls, you won't get all of the cores for some must go into my compost pile.  Not fictitious by the way.

Finally, some sugar.  A little more sugar.  A pinch of salt.  Some water.  How about just a tad more sugar?  And several "glug glugs" of Applejack and we are off.  Apples boiling, breaking down, making the house smell nice.

I DID IT!  I made applesauce.  It looks pretty.  It smells great.  The kids are going to LOVE it.

Well, it turns out Ladycakes is "kind of picky about applesauce.  You know it's not bad but it's not the best applesauce I've ever had."  WTF?  Q and Elvis have decided they are "too full" after 2 pieces of cinnamon toast to even try it.  I thought kids were supposed to be STARVING after school?

Well, there is a happy ending.  A silver lining.  A reason for spending  2 1/2 hours of our day working on a task.  A reward.

Look what I found while I was peeling the apples.

An apple bottom!  I am in love with it.  As you can imagine I sang Flo Rida's" Low".  THE.  ENTIRE. TIME. I made applesauce.  Me, alone in my kitchen, singing about Shawty and her boots with the fur.  God, I love making applesauce.





Add Flo Rida's "Low" to my Lifesoundtrack.  Careful, there are some explicit lyrics here.  So use your best judgement if you are sharing with kiddos.  Just sayin'.

Hey Mom, Are you thinking about making a Turducken? Nope, I'm not.

* See that question mark up there.  Pretend it's a cartoon bee preparing to carve a Thanksgiving turkey. It's a smiling bee and deliciously roasted turkey.  It's totally random..... now, go ahead.  Read.

I'm probably so not supposed to be using this image.  You know because it's so cool and it makes so much sense.  Can't you hear the creative department, " We should totally draw a bee showing off the turkey it cooked all day, the bee should have a big grin.  It's awesome.  I love this.  It'll be a huge seller."

Okay random, while flipping through images attempting to be inspired I found it.  I am most likely the ONLY person that has looked at this image and thought, "Well, that would work."

Whatever, the damage is done.

Happy Thanksgiving.  I can't believe we are here already.  Sooooo,  thankful.  Hmmmm.  I am thankful.  I have so much. 

House- love it and hate it all at once.  It's cute, it keeps us dry and comfortable.  It's expensive to maintain.  It's always dusty.  We are so lucky to have it.  I like it, I love it, it's alright.

Family- We have family nearby.  Mr. Handsome's family and my family live within 20 minutes of us.  We are lucky.  So many of our friends rarely see their families.  Our parents are healthy and alive and available to engage their grandchildren.  That's cool.  Brother and sister-in-law are rocking in Southern USA.  Wish they lived closer.  Thanksgiving would be different.

Friends- love them.  We have great friends.  Jen and Ker, hilarious.....laugh out loud at 1:00 in the morning.  Fuzz and LeeAnne are steady, solid and FUNNY!  Hil and Jay, she's my personal physician.  He's my social media guru.  Their kids... my kids besties.  

Pets- Emma is old.  Old, old, old.  I worry.  She misses "That Naughty Dog."  I miss "That Naughty Dog."  Sheba, the cat with mange because she is too old to clean herself , is dear to me.   I love her but honestly when is she going to kick the bucket?

Mr. Handsome and my children- probably should be at the top of the list.  love his patience, his tolerance, his understanding that he's the luckiest lucker in the whole lucking world.  Little bees.....Ladycakes - perfect.  Q - challenging beyond challenging but just because he's perfect too.  Elvis-hilarious, silly, strangely out there... but only because he's perfect.

Blog-  I love my dear blog.  I dig the folks that read, watch, wonder, question, criticize, encourage, laugh, point, barf or just show up.  This is fun.  

A few other things I am thankful for....Tervis Tumblers, Dansko clogs, Jolly Ranchers, Advil, Rubber Cement, gumballs, bird feeders, hashbrowns, Adam Richman, Seagram's 7, talcum powder, the ability to forget, a sense of humor, almonds, jeggings (not because I wear them, just because they exist and it's hilarious) Crest Pro-Health toothpaste, Phineas and Ferb and any kind of platypus, i phones, popcorn, slippers, corks, hot glue guns, words, spelling and playing with words, big televisions, imagination, very dark nail polish, loud music (Nelly is a fav.)  ohhhhh, sooo many things for which to be thankful.

My family wishes your family a very happy Thanksgiving.  If you are reading here, you some how relate and we relate right back at you.  It's not always easy, we know.  We live it daily.  Here's to being thankful for what we have, it's way more than we realize!

Oh say can you see....my house burning down?

We had a groovy 4th of July.

It involved Marching Bands,

Bagpipes,

Mariachi Musicians,

and some thumpin' techno-dance bootie-shakin' stuff.

We totally horsed around.

We rubbed elbows with a bunch of crazy characters.

Headed home for dinner with great friends. Decorations ala kids!  Thanks Paper and Cake for the free download!

 Kid-made flag cake!  Delicious.

Apple pie ala me and mode!  Careful there, careful. This is a family-friendly blog and holiday.

Then we attempted to burn the house down.

God bless America!

BTW, a special thank you to all those men and women in the Armed Forces who keep us safe and allow us to continue to have our freedoms.  Even if the freedoms are the above list.  Here at the Hive, we respect and appreciate you.

Hope your day was fun.

Last Day of School! But wait, I'm not ready!

So.... sorry for my absence.  I have been busy with musical performances, totally lame preschool graduations, last minute assignments, a Renaissance Faire, a new job, allergies, felt making, "what the hell are we having for dinner"ing.  And, a random orthodontist appointment.  So nothing really.  Just kidding!

Tomorrow is the last day of school. Happily, we do not have any snow in the forecast.  You laugh.  I cry.  It's been a long "sprinter"  and no, that's not a mis-spelling.  It's been Spring and Winter here.  It's LAME!

I love teachers.  They amaze me.  I was a teacher.  But, I didn't understand the power, the influence.  I knew it but didn't appreciate it from a parent's perspective.  NOW, I understand.  You people are amazing.

I am that parent that makes shit.  I make a present.  I like to make presents for people.  I think about them the entire time I am making their gift.  I also like to receive handmade gifts.  Okay, I'm a weirdo?  NO!

Hopefully, next year, the teachers aren't saying "Do you have that Q kid and his brother Elvis, cuz their mom is a handmade gift giver!  Sorry for you.  No Starbucks gift certificate.  No $10.00 Visa card.  It's all handmade.  Oh good luck with that!."

Here's this year's.  I like them.   I am proud of them.  I hope the teachers agree and appreciate how much time and love I understand that they put into every day.  I get them.

The bottles are an entire different post.  It, unfortunately, dives heavy into my psyche. We'll do that later. 

I have painted them  Added a tag.  Will then add flowers.  I love these people, they deserve paint, flowers and felt. 

Here are some more photos....

Close up of gold heart.

A message to each teacher.   With flowers. Such cute flowers.

Thank you teachers. Thank you moms.  Thank you dads.   Thank you for incredible public education.  Thank you Spring.  We are ready.

Hold on to your seats, it's SUMMER!

If the Three Stooges were into pottery, their names would be Pinch, Roll and Slab.

A few weeks ago, on a Saturday, Ladycakes and I met two other Mother/Daughter Teams at the Kimball Arts Center to take a little hand-built ceramics class.  Ladycakes and I were giddy.  Together we would construct a birdhouse from clay.

The woman who taught the class makes amazing birdhouses that she sells at a local gallery.  We had seen them before and were thrilled to be learning something new.

The girls listened intently, the instructions seemed to go on forever.  All we really wanted to do is get our hands on some clay.  And once that happened........

We got serious!  It was fun to just let the clay do it's thing, which was the instructor's advice.  As she said, "Listen to the clay."  Here is our creation once glazed and pre-fire.

The proud artist, who was less than pleased that we couldn't take it home immediately.  Pottery is a nice lesson in patience.

These are our wonderful friends.  Turtles took up residence on their birdhouse.  It was adorable.

Karen and her daughter made this beauty.  I love the poppies on the sides and the perch they added.

So today, I picked up the finished product.   Ta Da!  

It turned out so cool.  Nothing broke off in the firing.  The glaze looks great, it's tough to tell when you are painting it on.

Taking a class with your child is enlightening.  We both learned something new, we worked together and it was a blast.  I highly recommend it.  Now we are turned on to pottery and Ladycakes wants to trying a throwing class.  I say bring it on!

There she goes again with the "felt" and now she's talking about rainbow trees? This woman's a loon.

In my own obsessive compulsive way, I find myself heavy in the thoughts of felt.  Felt this, felt that...felt, felt, felt, felt!

Awhile back I ordered some felt online to play with.  Just to get a feel for what sewing with it would be like.  That crazy Martha Stewart had a pattern for a "shopper" type bag that was a free download so I thought that might be a quick, easy way to start.  I am all about the instant gratification.  It's terrible.

Some other breaking news,  I love color.  I obsess about color.  I color coordinate the books on my shelves.  And since the felt I purchased was just plain ol' green I decided it needed some jazzing up.

So I sketched out a tree and started cutting out some leaves.  Traced those little fellers onto the felt with a fabric pencil (I've secretly always wanted to use my fabric pencil but never seemed to find a reason.)

Cut the trunk out of some brown cotton, leaving an allowance so I could fold the edges.

With an Exacto knife, I carefully cut out each of the leaves.  Felt cuts beautifully with an Exacto knife, especially if it's a new blade.  Now I have a bunch of little leaf pieces that I can use for another project.  Lord knows I DON'T THROW ANYTHING AWAY!

Pinned the tree onto the bag and sewed it.  Added some free sewing details to the trunk to give it some character.  Then got busy sewing the leaves.  I placed each piece of fabric from my color spectrum behind the cut outs and sewed them on top.  I'm a pretty good multi-tasker but once I started sewing I stopped photographing.  I struggle with doing both!

TA DA!  The finished product.  It's a rainbow tree.  It turned out great.  Coulda just made a plain green shopper but NO.....had to take it up a notch.  It will be a great book bag for the library books or  a reusable grocery bag.    It will definitely get used.


And btw, Happy Earth Day!