Mature and intelligent Capricorn, represented in the zodiac by the goat, boasts a great sense of mental stability and many admirable qualities. (HA!) Capricorns, those admirable people born between December 22nd and January 19th, are practical, patient, forward thinking, confident individuals who carry with them a deep sense of purpose. (Seriously?) This ambitious earth sign is in store for quite a few surprises in 2012 along with one well deserved success after another. (Please say Yes!)

42.  It's arrived.  Not in full force, but it's here.  So, I do what I do.  You read.  Welcome to my 42nd year.

1.  I probably spend too much time on my computer. But somehow it seems appropriate.

2.  I have incredible boat etiquette.  Which is weird because we are not really boat people.

3."Hey, Mom."  is a phrase, introduction, beginning to a conversation, that I hear more than you can imagine.

4. Like Jason Derulo, if I were a popstar, I would be tempted to start every song I perform by yelling my name, "Jennifer Tyler!"

5.  Dinner is always a challenge.

6.  I strive to have handwriting like an architect.  In fact, I love creating my own fonts.  With pen and paper.

7.  I had dreams of being a lavender farmer.

8.  I get great pleasure from re-organizing a drawer.  Any drawer.  It gives me a sense of control.

9.   My favorite aisle in the grocery store is the cleaning product aisle.  There is always a new scent or product being introduced.  I'm a sucker for countertop spray.

10.  My children will all be taller than me and that makes me so happy.

11.  I fall asleep quite easily.

12.  I would love to have a small cottage decorated in a "shabby chic"  kind of way.  Like a playhouse but to scale for an adult.

13.  Moss is really beautiful.  I love the color and the way it feels.

14.  Speaking of moss, if I were a Smurf, which I would love to be, I would build my mushroom house on a moss patch.

15.  I DO NOT watch scary movies.  I just can't.

16.  Twitter has become my new challenge.  I am learning to use it slowly everyday.

17.  An emerald cut diamond is in my future.

18.  I love to watch my children swim.  They are amazing in the water.

19.  I should take some classes.  Photography.  Pottery.  Cooking. Accounting.  I need to continue learning.

20.  Planning parties is quite fun for me.  I tend to go overboard.

21.  See's Bordeaux candies make me smile.

22.  I like to be creative but at times I am embarassed by my creativity.  

23.  I never intend to make people feel inadequate.  That is one of the most hurtful things you could do.

24.  The numbers in my house address add up to 24.  I like that.

25.  I've often gone over in my head, "if my house was burning how would I get everything important to me out."  It's an awful thing to think about.

26.  At some point in my life, I would like to have a circus themed birthday party.  According to #26, I probably shouldn't plan it or elephants might be involved.

27.  My husband has become more handsome over the years.  He was a hottie when we got married.

28.  Sadly, I find some reality tv entertaining.  Hoarders.  Gross but totally entertaining.

29.  I love to dance.  Karaoke scares me. But I love to dance.

30.   I have no time for politics.  It pisses me off.  It's frustrating.  I think our government is a bunch of rich people who only give a shit about their own agenda.  Now you say, "NO DUH."

31.  I worry I will never be as successful as my parents.  Will my children feel the same?

32.  I only had 2 children when I was 32.

33.  I am proud of Here at the Hive.  I believe it's a nice representation of me.

34.  We feel lucky to have our parents around.  To have parents that are still living is a gift.  Mr. Handsome and I recognize this.

35.  I have met an amazing bunch of people.  In a weird turn of events I was invited to be part of the Snowmamas.  And in that, my life has changed.  in a great way! 

36.   I ordered a peppermint frappuchino the other day.  I drank half of it and then realized the calorie count.  The half I drank was delicious.

37.  When I was 13, I hated the idea of having boobs.  At 42, I love the idea of having boobs.  I will help my daughter feel the same way.

38.  Wind scares the shit out of me.  I. hate. wind.

39.  The ability to write a thank you note, actually write, with your own handwriting, is a dying art.  I insist that my children have that ability.

40.  It's the new 30?  Really?  That seems weird.  Why can't it just be 40.

41.  I feel more grown up this year.  I am easing into the new 30's.  I think by the time I'm the"new 39"  I'll have my 40's figured out.

42.  Being a little more selfish, it's what I'm considering as my gift to me.  I'll work on it.  But loving everyone around me, it's a priority.

Thanks for sharing today with me.  It make my day just what it should be, the very happy part of being alive.  Happy, Happy.

A dog party! A big dog party! Big dogs, little dogs, red dogs, blue dogs, yellow dogs, green dogs, black dogs, and white dogs are all at a dog party! What a dog party! - P.D. Eastman

We had a birthday at our house this week.  I have kind of given up on birthday parties.  When my kids were really little, I went all out.   Made the cake, did all of the decorations, hand-made party favors, games.  I can honestly say I took birthday parties to a whole new level.

But I burned out.  And, they just stopped wanting to have them.  Going out to dinner with one friend or taking a friend to the movies is sort of our "go to" celebration now.  But the birthday we celebrated this week is special.    NO MR. HANDSOME DID NOT TURN 50!







Lola the dog turned 1.  Yep, my puppy is growing up......

Lola came to us with her sister Daizy during the holidays last year from our wonderful local shelter.  Mr. Handsome and I thought fostering some puppies during the holidays would be a fun experience for the kids.  We took 2 of the litter of 10 with NO INTENTION of keeping either of these puppies.  NO INTENTION!

But wait, are you kidding me?  Look at that!  Emma acted like the best mommy ever.  She truly loves Lola.  So when someone or something has such an impact on everyone in your family, you should celebrate their birthday!

I gathered up some craft supplies and a cookbook and got to my party planning!

I traced out an old party hat that I used as my template.  Making party hats is SO easy and a great way to customize a party.  Plus anyone that has a head can wear one!

The hats turned out great.  Now on to the treats.  A few years back I bought a dog treat cookbook.  I don't use it a ton but it's fun to make special treats for birthdays or holiday gifts for neighbor dogs (yes, I do that.)

Now, here's the hitch.  Our oven died.  RIP.  gonzo.  off to appliance heaven.  bit the dust.  Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to come up with dinner items that are all stove top, microwave or grilled.  Suddenly, we are all craving casseroles, homemade bread, souffles, braised meats.  ANYTHING from the OVEN!  Anyhoo, the dog treat cookbook has a microwave recipe.  So, Microwave Molasses Oatmeal Treats were on the menu.  But, I never got around to making them.  Cuz, I'm busy.  I have 3 kids with lots of homework, after school activities, laundry, non-baked dinner to make.  I'm freaking busy!


But I made hats.  

We partied like it was 1999.  We celebrated a very special friend.  She's the bestest.

Happy Birthday you squirrely little, tennis ball-loving, speed demon, freakaziod!  WE LOVE YOU!

No question there is a diagnosis for this affliction. But I probably can't afford the meds.

I so often boast about my craftiness. Okay, boasting is the wrong word.  I "suggest," "flirt with the idea of,"  "insinuate" my craftiness.  I have a label for my posts "Crafty Ms. Jen, very crafty."  Yet I rarely show it to you.  Being crafty/creative and then documenting it are two very different things.  I get caught up in the creative process and rarely stop to grab my camera mid-steps to show where I am and where I am headed.

Halloween costumes are one of my most favorite creative outlets.  I love to conceive the ideas, figure out how to make them work and then construct them.  This year we had some doozies.  A gypsy with a full on corset (made by me.)  A voodoo doll with pins and all (made by me.)  A mad scientist with a custom lab coat (made by me.)  Plus, a voodoo priest and priestess (made by me.)  And, this year, I documented it, took pictures of the thrifted skirts I used to upcycle into a gypsy skirt.  Pictures of the drinking straws and styrofoam balls being spray painted by the 10 year who would be wearing them in his voodoo doll costume.  I did it.  Then, my camera died.  All of the pictures stuck on my memory card.  Mocking me.

So today, while creating a birthday present for my friend, I decided to try again.  This time with my phone.  A before and an after.  A peek into the lunacy that is me.  A hint at how I can't leave well enough alone.  A notion of how I think, "I can make this even more interesting."

Ladies and Gentleman,  my attempt at a craft blog.

Today is LeeAnne's birthday.  She has an amazing collection of crosses that she has artfully displayed in her home.  LeeAnne has incredible taste and creates a beautiful, ever-evolving home.  I went to a local store, The Paisley Pomegranate, that I know she likes and began the hunt.  Something perfect for a friend (and in my price range.)  I found this wonderful metal cross and knew right away this was what I needed.  But it needed more.  See, can't leave well enough alone.


I purchased, pondered and puttered.  Went to my local craft store, Michael's  and searched the jewelry making section.  This is not a section I normally hang out in, however I like ALL sections of a craft store.  Just cuz it says "jewelry" doesn't mean you gotta make jewelry!  Wire clippers, glue and a little imagination later and I am thrilled with the result.

It's bedazzled beyond belief.  Not really.  It is embellished in a beautiful way. (I am creative, however not a photographer.)  It really is striking and I am very proud and pleased to give it to LeeAnne.  She appreciates my creativity, that's why I love making things for her.


Okay, maybe not quite a craft blog yet.  But I think I like the documenting.  Now if I can slow myself down long enough to take a pic, I could be onto something.


happy gluing.

1 in 3200. Those are my kind of odds.

Autumn is a beautiful time here.  Today was one of those days you wish would last FOREVER.  The temperature, perfect.  The color of the leaves, mind blowing.  The wind, just a breeze.

This doesn't last long enough.  I love the winter but it arrives and stays.  Fall reminds me of being a flirtatious teenager.  Getting all dressed up in your pretty outfit.  Flaunt it for as long as your teenage-attention span can handle it.  Then go.  Seriously!  Get out of here as fast as you can because you think somebody might have noticed!

Well, I noticed.  I went outside and parked my body in a chair.  I soaked it in.  Like an 85 year old tortoise, dozing in and out of drifting in the breeze.   It was Heaven.  But then my brain got involved..... you know it does that.

I realized I had just put myself in grave danger.  I was tempting The Fates.  Outside.  Enjoying THAT brilliant blue sky.  Actually sitting.  Looking up at that sky.  Waiting.  Watching.

I am pleased to announce I survived.  I was not hit by a 1 ton bus-sized spacetrash piece of satellite.  I coulda been.  I was out there all exposed (totally clothed but totally exposed.)  I could have been that 1 in 3200.  And knowing how this flirtatious teenager's life works, I'm actually shocked.


I survived the Satellite Drop of 2011.  Nostradomus,  Mayans or Incans or whatever,  Ben Bernanke or Bill Gates or the economy or whatever.  I survived today.

Hooray me!

Getting a Jump Start on October......

As you know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month.  And since I put it off all of last year, I decided that I'd better get my boobs over to the local radiologist and have a mammogram.

This is a first for me.  I've had these boobs a long time now but I've never treated them to this.  I am finding that as I get older, the idea of going in for routine examinations scares the hell out of me.  I don't fear the examination or the test so much, it's more of what they might find.  I guess I'm afraid of getting old mostly.  I'd better get over that quickly or I'm going to need some major counseling!

Unfortunately, I know several women who have suffered from breast cancer.  Some my age, some older.  I decided I owed it to them to go and get this done.  I owe to my children.  I owe it to my husband.  So in bold letters, I wrote on our Family Calendar  "Mammogram."

Q, of course, wanted to know what that was scheduled under 10:30 on Tuesday morning.  Was it something he needed to prepare for?  Was it an assignment that was going to require that he do some reading, because that would suck?!  So he inquired and I explained.

Me: "I'm going to have pictures taken of my boobs."

Q (looking totally disgusted): "What?"

Me:  "It's an x-ray picture that is taken of my breasts to make sure they are healthy.  It's really important for women to have done."

Q:  "Okay, cool."


And it really was as easy as that.  That easy to explain to a 10 year old.  That easy to do.  It didn't hurt.  It didn't even really pinch.  It wasn't embarassing.  And it took 30 minutes of my time.

Why did I put it off last year?  Not sure.  But I am quite proud of myself for taking the time this year.

 If you know someone who has had breast cancer, has breast cancer or just has beautiful breasts, give her a hug and encourage her to take care of those boobies.


P.S. Q just came home from school and said "How was your hammergrab or whatever you call it, Mom?"

It was awesome son, thanks for asking.

If Fifth Grade accepted 41 year olds, I'd fit right it.

I love Fall.  It's a beautiful time of year.  The weather is ideal.  Temperatures are nice, the grass doesn't grow as fast so there is less mowing.  The snow hasn't started to fly yet so there's no shoveling.  The leaves are just changing and haven't begun to drop from the trees so there is no raking.  Perhaps I love Fall because I'm lazy.

I think NOT.

I've been working on getting the family to try new things.  Fall brought the opportunity for us to go apple picking.  My inner-farmer was ALL over this.  We could go and pick apples in the changing Fall sunlight.  Sunlight that makes us all look prettier.  The wind could whisper through the trees while the honeybees buzzed sweet songs of encouragement in our ears.  I could wear a bonnet and an apron and carry a bushel basket I had woven earlier in the summer.  We should TOTALLY go apple picking!

The apple picking was great.  It poured down rain.  There was lightning flashing all around us while we wielded picking sticks high into the trees.  In all honesty, the rain added an extra level of "adventure."    The trees are 130 year old heirloom apple trees.  Not sure what kind of apples they are but we figured we needed 5 bags of them.  5 bags.

So we picked and picked and picked.

We came home with a shitload of apples.


Well, it's been 5 days since we picked apples I decided it was time to do something with them before they all began to rot on my counter.

So I made applesauce.  How clever.

This is 2 bags worth of apples.  First I peeled the apples.

I peeled and peeled and peeled.  Now my inner-homesteader was totally excited about the outcome of my peeling.  My fictious chickens are going to love this special apple peel treat.  I am sure they will all scurry into the coop and lay dozens upon dozens of eggs for me.  As a thank you for my generous offering of heirloom apple peels.  They really do love me so.

Step 3 requires quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  And quartering and coring.  Again, Henney, Penney, Lenney, Jenney, Benney, and Zenney (my fictitious chickens)  will love the results of Step 3.  But oh girls, you won't get all of the cores for some must go into my compost pile.  Not fictitious by the way.

Finally, some sugar.  A little more sugar.  A pinch of salt.  Some water.  How about just a tad more sugar?  And several "glug glugs" of Applejack and we are off.  Apples boiling, breaking down, making the house smell nice.

I DID IT!  I made applesauce.  It looks pretty.  It smells great.  The kids are going to LOVE it.

Well, it turns out Ladycakes is "kind of picky about applesauce.  You know it's not bad but it's not the best applesauce I've ever had."  WTF?  Q and Elvis have decided they are "too full" after 2 pieces of cinnamon toast to even try it.  I thought kids were supposed to be STARVING after school?

Well, there is a happy ending.  A silver lining.  A reason for spending  2 1/2 hours of our day working on a task.  A reward.

Look what I found while I was peeling the apples.

An apple bottom!  I am in love with it.  As you can imagine I sang Flo Rida's" Low".  THE.  ENTIRE. TIME. I made applesauce.  Me, alone in my kitchen, singing about Shawty and her boots with the fur.  God, I love making applesauce.





Add Flo Rida's "Low" to my Lifesoundtrack.  Careful, there are some explicit lyrics here.  So use your best judgement if you are sharing with kiddos.  Just sayin'.

You know it's September when you give your cat a bath.

Let me start by saying, I've been a terrible friend.  The summer took forever to get here and then it just slipped away.  Right in front of my very eyes.  Gone.  I know I had some post ideas along the way but they all got lost in swim meets, laundry and bee stings.

Ladycakes has entered the world of Junior High.  Q is big man on campus and Elvis has left the building (he goes to school everyday, leaving me here all by my lonesome.)  Not entirely.  Mr. Handsome has his headquarters here.  We often meet and gossip around the watercooler.

Today I was, however, alone.  Business was being done elsewhere.  I decided to do my own business.  I bathed the cat.  This is the 16 year old cat that will be that freak of nature cat who lives to be 33.  The cat that caused Mr. Handsome to undergo years of allergy shots.  The cat we kept out of the crib for three different babies.  Just heeding the warnings, "the cat will smother the baby!"  This is the cat that now yowls, yes yowls in the middle of the night because she doesn't know where the hell she is.  The cat that Mr. Handsome clearly said at 3:26 in the morning, "that thing has got to go."

I didn't set up an appointment to euthanize that cat.  Nope.  Instead,  I watched a Youtube video on how to bathe your cat.  The woman was very informative and made it clear what I should and shouldn't do.  It was a pleasant experience.  The cat quite liked being bathed.  I do believe she was purring.  I have not seen her since I bathed her which was about 45 minutes ago.  But, I think it brought us closer.

The kids are back in school.  I am officially a cat groomer.  All in all, a good start to September.




If you would like to learn more about bathing cats, do check this out.